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You had me at "Fuck you!" Honestly, just knowing that I possibly made you scowl a la Mr. T (or Mr. TT) makes me smile.

Now, like a good trained pet, I am only going to give you one treat. That's all for now. Go back to your incessant phone voting for Taylor Hicks in American Idol, praying that he will call you back this time. Don't give up, man! Your life can have meaning!

Taylor: "Coochie: Quit asking me what I am wearing! I can't talk dirty to you and Janine tonight, man. I gotta win this Idol thing."

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I gave up voting last week, I voted for the wolfman, elliot