Gen, here is how i look at it. Winners take drugs, because its easy to say no, it takes a strong willed person to say yes and then have the will power to go through with it. I think you should just be open to the idea, i mean just try it for 3 months and then you can let me know which you prefer. Start off slow with the esha, then work your way up to pills, then sniff then finish it up with crack (or clear jesus as it is known in my household), my personal favorite. I'm sure angelica knight can hook you up.