This chick is unbelievable.....
www.myspace.com/melissalaurentherealone"10 Questions with Da Burglar" -- Melissa Lauren Edition
1) Melissa, since I dont actually watch a lot of porn (but I am trying to change that and catch up, lol), what Movie / Scene of yours would you suggest to me as the one I should most want to see? In other words, which is your BEST Movie/Scene to date, where you gave your best performance and showed the hottest sex possible?
Melissa: "Well... it isnt out yet. We havent even finished shooting the movie. But definitely Fashionistas 2 from Evil Angel. Finally got the opportunity, after 3 years, to act out the scene of my dreams..."
2a) You recently had a thread on
www.xxxporntalk.com (XPT) where you called Pariah a "Stinky Turd"? Is pariah, in Fact a Stinky Turd, and why do you feel this way? Explain.
Melissa: "Pariah's not a stinky turd. he s a FAT stinky turd. With a big mouth full of high-carbs pizza. But i gotta stop being mean to him, he introduced me to my favourite drink ever: 'Adios Motherfucker' !!!"
2b) Your Myspace quote, "Better to Reign in Hell than Serve in Heaven" is from John Milton's "Paradise Lost." Do you really subscribe to this view, and if so why? Muslims believe that they will get to fuck at least 70 virgins in heaven, I'd be pretty happy with that, wouldnt you? Is your Hellfire Sex a warmup act for what you actually plan to do in Hell?
Melissa Lauren: "I actually havent read the book. but i liked that quote cause it ressembles one we have in french, which says "better to die standing, than to live kneeling". Anyway, i m going to Hell, so i m trying to make it sound nice."
3) Do you achieve orgasm in most of your sex scenes? How can fans know for sure if you are cumming, what signs do you show? Can you name a specific scene where you DEFINITELY achieved orgasm, so your fans can rush out and buy that movie or pay for a bunch of minutes on someone's Video-On-Demand Site Service just to see this one scene?
Melissa Lauren: "I achieve orgasm when the male talent is good, has a big cock, doesn t talk much, the room temperature is warm but not too hot, the sofa is comfortable, the director isnt a prick, and i dont need to think about anything. Ahem. oh, yeah, forgot to mention i m a good actress. You usually wont be able to tell whether i'm faking it or not ;-). I've had several orgasms on set though... mmm let's see some titles: of course Fashionistas 2, Bella's fucking girls again, cum guzzlers 5, french connexxxion, Ass breeder,... too many to recall."
4a) You are widely regarded as one of the most intelligent female performers in the industry. I, Da Burglar, think you are absolutely brilliant. Do you agree with the statement that "Sex is all in the brain?" Explain this for the less intelligent fans to be able to understand.
Melissa: "I disagree. Sex is anywhere but in the brain. At least for me ... that s how i separate feelings from sex. Let's have an example: sometimes i dont recall guys I've worked with. Because I care so little about them i dont feel the need to put any memory of their name or face in my brain. It's just useless information. Sex is just sex ... guys i m not your fucking girlfriend ... i dont need to remember you!!!! lol. Although the guys I really like, I remember everything about them, and every scene we've done together.
4b) Do you have any sexual fantasies left at all that you have not played out or experienced yet on screen? What are they? Describe.
Melissa Lauren: "One of them is left: to do a scene with a she-male. I am fascinated by she-males. A cock and boobs... the best of both worlds. I consider myself being bisexual, but I dont like pussy. So this is actually perfect for me. yeah, go on, shit-talkers, you see my middle finger pointing at you? no? might be cause your head is stuck in your ass. I actually see people for who they are, and not for their gender. I can fall in love with a guy, a girl... and yeah, i might fall in love with a transexual one day."
4c) Are you single, and will you ever get married? What if all your fantasies have been fulfilled, what will you do with your husband to pass the time away and not be bored sexually with the same old fucking and sucking and whipping?
Melissa: "I am single, and it feels great. I have fuck buddies. It's awesome: I get to talk to them, have fun, share great moments, have great sex... and i dont get the headaches!!!!! only the good sides. I can totally see myself settle down with one guy, start a family and not fuck around though. The reason i did so many crazy things while in porn, is because i knew that one day i d wanna settle down and have no regrets about not having done some things... I didnt want to feel one day like I'd missed out on something. I did it all (or almost) and i m glad i did."
5) You have performed as well as produced and directed in the indistry and have achieved MUCH SUCCESS and Praise; Will you ever leave or retire from the Adult Industry? What are your plans outside of the adult industry or after you leave/retire?
Melissa: "Well... here we are. I am at a point of my career where things are changing. When i knew I got cast in Fashionistas 2, I knew it would be one of the last movies I'd perform in. I wanted to get out while on top of my game. I ve been doing this for 3 years now. I've had a lot of fun, I've met wonderful people, had a ton of experiences... but now is time for me to say goodbye to the front of the camera and move behind. I'm not saying I'll never perform again. I'll do a scene here and there, but only for and with people that really mean something to me. Let's just say i m becoming a prima donna fucking bitch!!! haha. I'm just gonna be very selective, and do scenes i really wanna do. I am still directing for the
www.hellfiresex.com website, as well as shooting a movie a month for Combat Zone (Dion Giarusso's new company). I am starting production Sunday and i am very excited. I'd also say i m finding my place behind the stills camera... I love photography. It's such an amazing thing... capturing feelings and emotions (and orgasms!) Of course at some point i ll leave the industry completely. what i ll do then? Take over the world!"
6) What do you think of the controversial practice/issue of Donkey Punching? Would you (or HAVE you) ever been Donkey Punched? Do you find it arousing or stimulating? Do you think Donkey Punching is more hardcore than the type of acts depicted in your Hellfire Sex Series, or is Donkey Punching just plain fucking stupid and retarded?
Melissa: "I think i ve been donkey puched a couple of times. arousing? no. stimulating? no. retarded? yes."
7) Getting to Know Melissa Lauren.
7a) Rank in order of importance (1 being the most important, 2 the next most, etc) the qualities you find MOST important in a man as a potential mate/partner:
Looks ___2___
Intelligence ___1___
Style/Clothes__7 if i dont like it i'll buy him some____
Singing Ability____11__
Dick Size ____1__
Sense of Humor _1_____
Ability to Give Oral Sex to a Woman __10___i dont care for pussy eating_
Love for his Mother __7____
Concern for the Earth's Environment __12____
Cooking Ability _____9 i m a chef, i cook, he cleans the dishes._
Money/Financial Situation ____6__
How nice a car or wheelchair he drives __8____
Melissa Further Adds: "As you can see, i need a man who is smart, funny, and has a big dick. That makes me fall! Looks... doesn t need to be a model type but i like certain looks. Eyes are very important. Not skinny, not fat. definitely taller than me."
7b) What/Who is Melissa's Favorite or Preference:
Favorite Munchie Food___what s munchie food? is it crap food you eat when you re hungry but too lazy to cook? mmm. chocolate.___
Prefer Anal or Vaginal Fucking __both___
Favorite Sports Team____none__
Favorite Book __"Les Fleurs du Mal", Charles Baudelaire____
Best Time of Day to have sex ____anytime!__
Best MUSIC BAND __Korn____
Fav Amusement Park Ride __magic moutains____
Fav Men's Fragrance ___"le Male", from Jean-Paul Gaultier (I fucking love it!)
Fav Holiday ___I have plans to go to Japan and Thailand...___
Preference for Cum: Spit, Swallow or on Face __ "If I love the guy, swallow. if I like the guy, inside me. If I dont care for him, on my face. If I dont like him, on the floor."
Fav Sexual Position __doggy, with the guy grabbing my hair and spanking me____
Flavor of Pop Tart ____what the hell is that?__
Mixed Drink and Brand of Beer _Adios Motherfucker_____ & ____Leffe__
Porn Performer (Male AND Female) _Nacho Vidal , Manuel Ferrara_____ & __Belladonna____
8a) If you could be appointed DICTATOR of Porn, what would be the FIRST problem or issue you would address in the Industry, and why?
Melissa: "Testing every 2 weeks!!! All scenes with condom only!!! (yeah, I hate condoms too. but how can we tell kids in high school they have to use condoms, and porn is condom-free? Doesn t make sense at all)
8b) Your feuds with Smelly Monkey on XPT are Legendary. Who is Smelly Monkey and would you use your Powers of Dictatorship to reveal his identity to the world and hang him by his Monkey Balls at the Entrance to Disneyland?
Melissa: "Nah. he's a sissy. I dont care for him."
9) How do you Mentally Prepare for your sex scenes Melissa? Do you need to perform any special rituals or meditation? Would you say performing sexual acts in front of the camera is EASY for you or NOT? And finally, are you turned on MORE by the Idea of Weird, Strange, Horny Men killing BILLIONS of tiny Sperm jerking off to your porn scenes, or are your more turned on by the money you have been able to make in Porn? Or Are they about equal?
Melissa: "Well, when i used to perform a lot... i never had to prepare myself. just go do it! I rarely think about the fans when i do my scenes... it's more about the guy, or me feeling good... Although one time, when i did the "Red light gang bang Volume 4", and i had to swallow 12 loads ... I thought "oh my god, how many millions of potential babies am I just about to eat? I'm a criminal!!!"
10) Finally, Melissa, it is "turn the tables on the cripple" time: What one question would you like to Ask Da Burglar? Ask Me anything.....
Melissa: "Dude, where s my car?"
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