Yes, Willie is on a "classic porn" kick. Here is one of the goodies from the days of trading U-2 "Joshua Tree" t-shirts for Motley Crue "Shout at the Devil" caassettes, and Member's Only jackets were only two years out of style.

A Little Background:
OK, Traci Lords was in this one, she was underage, and her scenes had to be scrapped. The original version is not legal in the U.S., but is still available in Europe. Since the producers already had this one for sale for 2 or 3 years, their solution to the "Traci problem" was to reshoot some of her scenes using redhead Lisa de Leeuw, maybe call it the "1st Edit." Now I like Lisa, she is a great whore, or was until she died of AIDS in 1993, but it's not the same, poorly shot and incongruous. An even more heavily edited version, basically "Talk Dirty to Me 3 ver. 2.0" was released in 1989 with a bunch of other whores like Taija Rae and Kimberly Carson. It is unwatchable. I've seen the original (legally) and the 1st edit. If you can see the orignal in a legal fashion, it is clearly the best option.

Relevance to Today:
1. It's a "Traci flick," and people still have a fixation on her story, otherwise her E! True Hollywood Story wouldn't re-air every 4 months.
2. Follows the porn style of the 80s of mimicing a recently-released film--1984's Splash w/ Tom Hanks & Daryl Hannah. There is an offhanded reference to the movie in the Leslie/A Lynn scene.
3. One of Debi Diamond's first movies.
4. Porn music was much less invasive than the late 70s. You hear than Eon McKai?

Basics:
Title: Talk Dirty To Me 3 (1984)
Dir: Ned Morehead
Studio: Four Rivers Releasing
Dist: Dreamland Home Video

Cast:
Traci Lords, mermaid (original)
Lisa de Leeuw, mermaid (redacted)
Rikki Blake, Johnni
Ginger Lynn, Linda
Amber Lynn, marine biologist
Colleen Brennan, Sylvia
Susan Hart, Chrissie (Linda's roommate)
Bunny Bleu, Teresa (Linda's other roommate)
Debi Diamond (nude only)
Crystal Breeze (nude only)
Laurie Smith (nude only)
John Leslie, Jack
Jamie Gillis, Marty
Tom Byron, Tommy (Marty & Sylvia's son)
Peter North, John (no sex)
Patient Zero aka Marc Wallice (no sex)


Plot (moderately interesting):
A mermaid, coming of age (pun intended), is looking for some friends to help her learn the language of humans, when she encounters a nudist club, and Jack the slick-talking "swa-vee and de-bone-air" male. She is smitten by him and decides to follow him around, learn a few things and win his eternal love.

Scene 1.
Nudist club, the mermaid happens upon the club. Activities director Jonni is leading the nude women through exercises, while John Leslie (Jack) and Jamie Gillis (Marty) look on. Some great porn dialogue here:
Rikki Lake: Gentlemen, you'll have to leave, it's ladies' day at the pool.
John Leslie: Well, don't you want to check my membership?
RL: [sighs] OK.
JL: [stand up, removes towel and flashes his stiffie]
RL: That's disgusting!
JL: C'mon! Don't you want to see if it's expired or not?
Leslie catches up to her in a gazebo and woos her with some more cheesy porn dialogue into various sex acts: a quick BJ, doggie, cowgirl, money shot to the tits. All the while, the mermaid has been watching, listening and learning the language. She jills off to the experience, then catches Jack's attention, but knowing no other language than sex, she only manages a few "fuck me's" and "I want to come on your face's" before disappearing back into the sea.

Here's an early view of the lovely Debi Diamond. What a whore she turned out to be!

John Leslie and Rikki Lake.

Jack jerks off onto the athletic director.

Scene 2:
Marty & Sylvia's house. Marty & snatchbag of a wife Sylvia (Colleen Brennan) are eating with Jack, and want him to bang their son's girlfriend to break up their Linda, and straighten the kid out. No one yet realizes that Linda and her roomates are harboring the mermaid. Quick scene where Peter North (dead ringer for Vince McMahon here) and Laurie Smith are about to get hot and bothered when they find the mermaid in their jacuzzi and flee terrified. The action shifts to the 3 girl's beachfront house, where the girls are teaching the mermaid important words, like "titties" and "pussy." Tommy and Linda get into the next sex scene: BJ, lunch at the Y for Tommy, cowgirl, shot in her mouth.

Peter North aka Vince McMahon...scared shitess, LOL.

Ginger Lynn & Tommy Byron. The whites of those eyes...mmm.

More Ginger Lynn and Tom Byron.

Scene 3:
Ironic twist in the plot, Jack comes to the beachfront house posing as a poolman. Going out back to see the pool, he encounteres the mermaid again, whose mouth is a dirty as ever. She advances on him, but Jack pushes her into the pool by accident, revealing her mermaid tail. Jack is now fully confused in the next few cuts, so heads over to the office of marine biologist Helen Spangler to investigate. After a little rough convincing, Amber Lynn is doing a nice striptease in her office. Neither know that the mermaid followed Jack and snuck into the waiting area and is watching every move. Jack gives some nice head, followed by some missionary, some tit-fucking, and the doctor gets a nice pearl necklace for the effort.

We start with Colleen Brennan, upper-class trash whore. Can a skankbagette like Colleen do anything but eat and fuck?

John Leslie and Amber Lynn. Amber is he nastier of the "Lynns" in this one. But Ginger...well...she's fuckable, too.

Amber's field is well-plowed by John Leslie.

Oh, yeah, here's Patient Zero...no fukkee for you, muddah fukkah.

Scene 4:
Some more plot twists: the salesman confronts Jack and offers a big reward for capturing the mermaid live, to be further sold for attractions. Tommy confronts her Mom & Pop about their little plot. The red cunt Sylvia ends up kicking both daddy and son from the house, and both wind up at the beachfront house. While son and his girl go get busy, Marty is invited to occupy himself with his son'e friends. Jack meanwhile broswes through a photo album and discovers that the mermaid for real.

Bunny Bleu eats Susan Hart

Nice threesome with Susan, Bunny + Jamie.

Scene 5:
some more plot--the mermaid is now distraught over Jack apparently ignoring her, Marty tries to go back to his wife the next morning, but finds Sylvia naked with an unidentified male tonguing her twat in a brief scene. Meanwhile, the erstwhile test tube salesman sees a photo of the mermaid, and tells Jack his intention to sell her to Sea World, or whatever. Jack has ambivalent feelings and kills the deal, but the salesman vows to track her down.

Finally, what you were waiting for. Jack finds the mermaid in a remote waterfall and tells her she's in danger. They hide out at the beach house, there things finally...err...take off. The mermaid is now in full nasty-talk, telling Jack about her dreams of being held down and fucked, because she's never had a cock before. Jack fingers the mermaid and spoon fucks her deep, then into a vigorous doggie, then back to the spoon, Jack finally straddles her tits and strokes off onto her face.



As a tender demoument to the flick, the odious salesman arrives at the house to take her away. As he breaks into the house, she swims to safety, and coaxes Jack to jump with her to safety and eternal mermaid bliss.

approved!

i finally get why ginger lynn was famous. thanks wd.

I was circumspect, COAH, I have more "classic xxx" to come and would not jeopardize the board. I recall that several other TL pictures which made their way onto the board were deleted quickly\, maybe 4 or 5 months ago.

The most diturbing image of this whole review, upon reflection, is John Leslie's banana-hammock tanline. Bleech!

If TL wanted to make a comback today do you think anyone would hire her?

Companies would definately hire Traci Lords again. She looks like she's kept her looks up and then, of course, there's the whole pop culture appeal. It would be a limited stint because the novelty would die soon after the studios had a round at her. She'd probably just interview with the feature companies, but I'd die to see her in Fuck Dolls or Girlverted by Ashley Blue.

I love the trips down porn memory lane. The first two Talk Dirty pics are classics, too.