It must be incredibly frustrating as an Islamic terrorist not to have your views and motives taken seriously by the societies you terrorize, even after you have explicitly and repeatedly stated them. Even worse, those on the regressive left, in their endless capacity for masochism and self-loathing, have attempted to shift blame inwardly on themselves, denying the terrorists even the satisfaction of claiming responsibility.

It's like a bad Monty Python sketch:

"We did this because our holy texts exhort us to to do it."

"No you didn't."

"Wait, what? Yes we did..."

"No, this has nothing to do with religion. You guys are just using religion as a front for social and geopolitical reasons."

"WHAT!? Did you even read our official statement? We give explicit Quranic justification. This is jihad, a holy crusade against pagans, blasphemers, and disbelievers."

"No, this is definitely not a Muslim thing. You guys are not true Muslims, and you defame a great religion by saying so."

"Huh!? Who are you to tell us we're not true Muslims!? Islam is literally at the core of everything we do, and we have implemented the truest most literal and honest interpretation of its founding texts. It is our very reason for being."

"Nope. We created you. We installed a social and economic system that alienates and disenfranchises you, and that's why you did this. We're sorry."

"What? Why are you apologizing? We just slaughtered you mercilessly in the streets. We targeted unwitting civilians - disenfranchisement doesn't even enter into it!"

"Listen, it's our fault. We don't blame you for feeling unwelcome and lashing out."

"Seriously, stop taking credit for this! We worked really hard to pull this off, and we're not going to let you take it away from us."

"No, we nourished your extremism. We accept full blame."

"OMG, how many people do we have to kill around here to finally get our message across?" - Faisal Saeed Al Mutar

"LISTEN FAGGOT NO MATTER HOW MUCH FAGSHIT YOU POOR OUT YOUR MOUTH IT DOESNT CHANGE THE FACT IM HEATHER NOT DOONY"

---Donny

"...the Beatles were hard men too. Brian Epstein cleaned them up for mass consumption, but they were anything but sissies. They were from Liverpool, which is like Hamburg or Norfolk, Virginia--a hard, sea-farin' town, all these dockers and sailors around all the time who would beat the piss out of you if you so much as winked at them. Ringo's from the Dingle, which is like the f***ing Bronx. The Rolling Stones were the mummy's boys--they were all college students from the outskirts of London. They went to starve in London, but it was by choice, to give themselves some sort of aura of disrespectability. I did like the Stones, but they were never anywhere near the Beatles--not for humour, not for originality, not for songs, not for presentation. All they had was Mick Jagger dancing about. Fair enough, the Stones made great records, but they were always s**t on stage, whereas the Beatles were the gear."

---Lemmy Kilmister, who oughta know. RIP.

"Doony, I really enjoy the fact that you now refer to yourself as a little Thai girl! I think we always knew you would eventually come out of the closet."

---Max Rhino

"Brandon, is your life so derailed that you need Doony to give you an endorsement? Don't worry little guy, Doony has your back, right? Although having Donny save you is like having ISIS endorse a political candidate; kind of shows who not to vote for."

---Max Rhino

Astroglide in blue? Yuck.

-Faceblaster

"Don't believe everything that you read on the internet." ~Abraham Lincoln 1861

"Blow coke, fuck hoes, blow loads. And out. That'd be me in porn."

- my boyfriend

In this rant, Doony fantasizes about throat fucking someone with an adam's apple. No shit. I just copy & pasted it with no edits.




PORN GOD LONG DIRECTOR AND COMPANY OWNER WANTS TO HIRE U TO SHOOT SOME THROATPIE STUFF FOR A NEW SITE BRANDON SO HIT HIM UP ON SKYPE

Brandon_Iron: Very kind of God Long.

Heather Deep: U MUST TALK A LOT OF SHIT TO THE GIRLS ABOUT THE FAGS RUINING PORN AND WARN HER ABOUT THE GAY MAFIA AND GAY PIMPS IN THE BUSINESS AS PART OF THE INTERVIEW CASTING

Brandon_Iron: Leaving Los Angeles was not a good move in terms of production. I know this now.

Heather Deep: LOL BUT WE ALL KNOW ITS JUST ACTING RIGHT

Heather Deep: YES TONS OF DESPERITE FAGHAG PORN HOOKERS THAT WILL DO ANYTHING FOR A BUCK IN LA

Heather Deep: THE INTERVIEW CAM GO SOMETHING LIKE SIT DOWN U STUPID WHORE, DO U KNOW IM STRAIGHT MALE PORN GOD BRANDON LONG

Heather Deep: GOOD NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN DO U KNOW YOUR A DUMB CUNT THAT IS GOING TO GET HIV FROM ALL THE FAGGOTS THAT ARE FUCKING THE WHORES IN PORN

Heather Deep: DID U NOT LISTEN TO SUPER HERO DONNY LONG AND PWL OR ARE U DEAP DUMB AND STUPID

Heather Deep: THEN U CAN PROCEED TO THROATFUCK HER ADAMS APPLE TILL ITS DROPS OUT THE BACK OF HER THROAT AND THEN BLOW A LOAD SO FAR DOWN HER THROAT IT COMES OUT HER POOP SHOOT AND MAKES HER CRY

Heather Deep: SOUND FUN?

Heather Deep: THEN U CALL BACK HER AGENT DEREK HAY AND TELL HIM THAT HIS FAGHAG HOOKER WONT BE GOING BACK TO WORK FOR HIM LOL

"She reminds me of drinking yourself sober. She's done it all so often and so well it just doesn't have the same affect."

---Backdoorman

^thanks hehehe

"I havebever been a drinker even divlcially my whole.life. i fo nit like a drunk I fonit get drunk i have been drunk two times when i eas young eith my mom on chamoagne znd once t a vn award nite with few brandys thats ir."

-- (An obviously sober) Dana Hayes

Beautiful!

Thanks Willie!

Eloquent.

For the uninitiated:

Mobius Strip: a topographic shape which has no point of orientation, i.e., no definable start or end.

Mathematically speaking:



In medias res...starting an epic story in the middle of the action. Horace said that Homer did not begin his epis, "From the egg."

Can a mobius strip actually exist? I followed its surface several times in that illustration and it made no sense. And those maths are beyond anything I can absorb.

Based on folding a rectangle so I believe so. Is it based on the dimension in which it's perceived?

Faceblaster todays FTW
"well, he had to have some explanation for how it ended up up his ass."

This made me LOL!

Faceblaster's response to backdoorman's contention that Ronald Reagan was "one of our best ever" Presidents:
"Were you an adult in the 80s?"

I was indeed. He obviously had warts like any president but overall was one of the best. And fuck you very much.

I hate to quote myself, but since Brandonna's so hell bent on deleting it:

"If you could really help me eat hot girls ass for a living, I'd think you'd charge more than $19.95 "

---One of the Arts, to Brandon

Brandon, are you suggesting there's something not gay about selling your semen-encrusted boxers to dudes?

J.B.

"Porn Whores used to pay me to write their ads thre because they were too stupid to wright their own."

---KidRibz

I'm sure he only drinks while posting here, not while writing ads.

I'm curious to see the ones this editorial genius rejected from the whores themselves. I get the feeling they're more intelligible.

Does this have something to do with the Wright brothers?

Don't even have nothing to do with "Rick" Orville Wright.

"When life gives you AIDS make lemonaids"

--Sarah Silverman (jewess, comedien)

Cranston was never going to top Breaking Bad, so we don't need him around anyway.

Mike Quasar:

No more porn press releases please. Nothing we have ever done is "amazing" or "groundbreaking". People fucked. We hit the record button.

I've seen his NaughtyAmerica work, he is right. Bored the hell out of me after a month subscription.

"I would shit in my panties for 10$" ~ Kelly Leigh during a phone conversation.

You sir, are correct.

I had about 20 vodkas in my when I posted that.

^ LOL

"Can I facefuck you until you puke and don't want to do it anymore and leave audio of the event on your father's voicemail?"

-- Sock

Adria Rae @adriaraexx
24h24 hours ago

I think my biggest struggle as a pornstar is trying to figure out how the shower works in random houses