Chatsworth Pictures Releases AssPhyxiated
With this release the Johnson Brothers hope to save lives, make money (not necessarily in that order).

March 24, 2006

Chatsworth, CA – Young people across the country are discovering a new trend known as the “choking game.” The game involves cutting off one’s oxygen supply to the brain through suffocation to acquire a dreamy-like high. This asphyxiation game, which is popular amongst guys and girls, often results in serious injury. On April 3rd, Chatsworth Pictures, a non-profit-yet organization, is hoping to save lives by introducing young people to a safe and alternative method of asphyxiation with the release of Grip & Cram Johnson’s AssPhyxiated.

The idea for AssPhyxiated came to the Johnson Brothers while masturbating to a Fox News story on the accidental strangulation of a young woman who had hung herself with a bicycle chain in her closet while attempting to achieve a high . By the story’s end, the Johnson brothers were so troubled they were not able to reach climax.

“Sex education in this country is a joke,” says Grip Johnson. “None of these victims were jerking off when they choked themselves. Didn’t we learn anything from INXS’s singer Michael Hutchence’s death ? If you’re gonna risk dying, why not cum first? Those kids in Kansas & Idaho didn’t have to die! Our system failed them.”

Grip & Cram Johnson’s AssPhyxiated features couples suffocating each other through creative use of ass. Faces get smothered and farted on and the positions are not only embarrassingly effective but switched between the pairs for mutual asphyxiated delight. Each scene also features intense cocksucking, often times ending with a pop to the female anus. After all, it is a porno.

“Anyone who has ever caught an up close glimpse of Dino Bravo’s balloon knot knows the face of death and the value of clean, fresh oxygen,” says Cram Johnson. “There’s no need to disassemble your Schwinn with an ass like Dino’s around .”

Determined to teach young people a new and safer form of asphyxiation, the Johnson brothers hired only today’s most influential whores. Renowned and respected cum receptacles like Tyla Wynn and Missy Monroe are joined by newer faces such as Sierra Sinn and Kara Bare in the hopes of keeping misinformed asphyxiation enthusiast from accidentally dying.

“Young people don’t want to take advice from some old Dr. Phil type,” explains Grip Johnson. “But, they’ll do and believe anything a young and hip naked chick tells them. That’s how I keep getting gonorrhea .”

Grip & Cram Johnson’s AssPhyxiated stars Missy Monroe, Sierra Sinn, Kara Bare, Brooklyn Night, Michelle Sweet, Erica Kole, Keeani Lei, and Tyla Wynn .

Grip & Cram Johnson’s AssPhyxiated is available now! Distributors can order now by contacting JM at (800)550-3659. For more information or to order your copy, please visit Jerkoffzone.com on the web!

Who is the whore getting licked on the cover? Her ass needs a fuckin waxing.

http://adultworldnews.blogspot.com/2006/03/chatsworth-pictures-releases.html

That's nice, but it occurs to me to wonder why all these pornographic press releases are comic. I'd like to see one written with appropriate seriousness and darkly emotive, like "This video includes women having humiliating sexual things done to them in front of cameras and lights that will probably lead to regrets and suicide attempts on her part sometime in her future. If these women's parents were forced to watch these acts, they would certainly cry and probably plead like Malcolm MacDowell in 'A Clockwork Orange'. We kind of felt bad in a way while making it, but it was also a monstrous thrill which more than cancels that out. Plus it's very profitable, and that's always a good thing."