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--from the April QUEST Magazine Column

If you had asked the Wankus of 4th grade what he'd be doing at the age of 37 he probably would have told you that he'd either be a movie star or the singer of a major label rock band. Heck, move it up a few years and ask the Wankus of his High School years where he'd be at this point in his life (20 something years later) and he would have told you that he'd be very successful as an entertainer, living with a gorgeous wife, rolling in the $$$ and loving life. Asked about his wife, Wankus of then would have probably told you that she'd be a knock dead gorgeous woman who was a homemaker, had some hobbies, but was raising a bunch of little Wankus's and had dinner on the table every night.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! (Laughs)

Okay, while some of those predictions actually came true, the direction things have gone are certainly "interesting" to say the least.

First of all, based on my resume and achievements, I certainly have accomplished a lot of incredible things, more things to brag about than the average Joe can in their entire lifetime. I was one of the Transformers on television (Prowl). I toured with the legendary group, The Platters. I hosted many national radio shows and made a lot of television appearances. I hosted a halftime show at a Laker Game, interviewed and hung out with all kinds of celebrities...hell, I've even starred in a few porn movies. My soon to be wife is a gorgeous blonde who loves the hell out of me and supports everything I do and I'm paying my bills, traveling the world and on the most part, livin' the good life.

So, what's the problem right?

Well one thing that the Wankus of years ago would have never predicted was that he'd be booking his spouse for work. Not just any work. Porn work. Yea, I know a few shallow readers may think, "yo dude...that's the shit...you're dating a porn star", but I'm talking about the reality of negotiating the cum shot.

Seriously. The other day, my buddy Quasarman called me to book Tyler (Faith) for a scene. I don't like what she does but I can deal with it for a little while and I do all her booking because it helps keep her organized and gives her one less thing to deal with on a daily basis.

Anyway, he called me and asked, "Hey...I need Tyler to do a scene with Tommy Gunn. It's a cum focus movie so she'd have to take a load on her face and tongue and really put a little extra attention into playing with it in her mouth and stuff...will she do that?"

I know Tyler does facials and even when the movies don't have such a focus on the result of the "pop shot" she kind of does that anyway. It didn't sound like a problem so I said, "Yes, that's fine. She doesn't have to swallow it right?" As he said no, I started thinking in my head, 'what has happened to my life? I'm on the phone discussing the cum placement and delivery location on my soul mate's body!'

It's pretty sad if you think about it. I mean, yeah, this is what she does and I've become one with the fact that I fell for her in this arena and can deal with it. But now not only am I enabling and condoning it, I'm mapping out acceptable splatter zones. It's kind of wacky.

It gets worse.

Tyler only works off of a set list of men she'll shoot with. The more established girls like herself are certainly in command of their career and decisions they make. They can be more picky and choose scenes carefully whereas some of the newer girls are just happy to be getting work.

The other day she got a call for a booking where someone wanted her to work with someone who is NOT on her list. I usually don't even ask her because I know she doesn't want to, but the scene sounded like something she would want to do and the money was good as well. So what did I do?

I ended up talking her into doing it anyway. So now think about this. I'm not only dictating how people can fuck her, I'm also setting it up so new and different guys can fuck her.

It's a fucking weird world my friends. I am high on life with a gorgeous, supportive, smokin' hot, awesome in bed spouse but sometimes these odd thoughts enter my head and I just have to let 'em out! (laughs)

Until next time...be happy your girl's a legal secretary!

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In an attempt to overcome his vulnerabilities, Wankus tries to joke about pimping out his wife. From his blog:

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--from the April QUEST Magazine Column

If you had asked the Wankus of 4th grade what he'd be doing at the age of 37 he probably would have told you that he'd either be a movie star or the singer of a major label rock band. Heck, move it up a few years and ask the Wankus of his High School years where he'd be at this point in his life (20 something years later) and he would have told you that he'd be very successful as an entertainer, living with a gorgeous wife, rolling in the $$$ and loving life. Asked about his wife, Wankus of then would have probably told you that she'd be a knock dead gorgeous woman who was a homemaker, had some hobbies, but was raising a bunch of little Wankus's and had dinner on the table every night.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! (Laughs)

Okay, while some of those predictions actually came true, the direction things have gone are certainly "interesting" to say the least.

First of all, based on my resume and achievements, I certainly have accomplished a lot of incredible things, more things to brag about than the average Joe can in their entire lifetime. I was one of the Transformers on television (Prowl). I toured with the legendary group, The Platters. I hosted many national radio shows and made a lot of television appearances. I hosted a halftime show at a Laker Game, interviewed and hung out with all kinds of celebrities...hell, I've even starred in a few porn movies. My soon to be wife is a gorgeous blonde who loves the hell out of me and supports everything I do and I'm paying my bills, traveling the world and on the most part, livin' the good life.

So, what's the problem right?

Well one thing that the Wankus of years ago would have never predicted was that he'd be booking his spouse for work. Not just any work. Porn work. Yea, I know a few shallow readers may think, "yo dude...that's the shit...you're dating a porn star", but I'm talking about the reality of negotiating the cum shot.

Seriously. The other day, my buddy Quasarman called me to book Tyler (Faith) for a scene. I don't like what she does but I can deal with it for a little while and I do all her booking because it helps keep her organized and gives her one less thing to deal with on a daily basis.

Anyway, he called me and asked, "Hey...I need Tyler to do a scene with Tommy Gunn. It's a cum focus movie so she'd have to take a load on her face and tongue and really put a little extra attention into playing with it in her mouth and stuff...will she do that?"

I know Tyler does facials and even when the movies don't have such a focus on the result of the "pop shot" she kind of does that anyway. It didn't sound like a problem so I said, "Yes, that's fine. She doesn't have to swallow it right?" As he said no, I started thinking in my head, 'what has happened to my life? I'm on the phone discussing the cum placement and delivery location on my soul mate's body!'

It's pretty sad if you think about it. I mean, yeah, this is what she does and I've become one with the fact that I fell for her in this arena and can deal with it. But now not only am I enabling and condoning it, I'm mapping out acceptable splatter zones. It's kind of wacky.

It gets worse.

Tyler only works off of a set list of men she'll shoot with. The more established girls like herself are certainly in command of their career and decisions they make. They can be more picky and choose scenes carefully whereas some of the newer girls are just happy to be getting work.

The other day she got a call for a booking where someone wanted her to work with someone who is NOT on her list. I usually don't even ask her because I know she doesn't want to, but the scene sounded like something she would want to do and the money was good as well. So what did I do?

I ended up talking her into doing it anyway. So now think about this. I'm not only dictating how people can fuck her, I'm also setting it up so new and different guys can fuck her.

It's a fucking weird world my friends. I am high on life with a gorgeous, supportive, smokin' hot, awesome in bed spouse but sometimes these odd thoughts enter my head and I just have to let 'em out! (laughs)

Until next time...be happy your girl's a legal secretary!

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this motherfucker was a Transformer???.....WTF is that about???...something aint right...I feel a disturbance in the Force

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this motherfucker was a Transformer???.....WTF is that about???...something aint right...I feel a disturbance in the Force

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He was the voice of a Transformer on the cartoon series. Its on his IMDB.com page.

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I know for a fact when a person who books for found out that wankus was handling tylers bookings they called up offering a fake job that was really fucked up just to see if hed accept it if they money was good enough. It was like an amputee gangbang or something, like 12 dudes missing arms and legs but offered like 10 times her normal rate, wankus gave it serious thought asking more info on the performers, in his own words "they aren't retarded or anything?". He declined in the end, they said they almost wet themselves after.

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I thought Prowl was the jive-talkin' (black) cop?

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Maybe I'm getting him mixed up with Bumblebee? If it was was voiced by Wankus, it must have been at least part gay.

All of the Decepticons were gay though....in most episodes, one of them would have a firm grip on Megatron's butt (...think about it)

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In an attempt to overcome his vulnerabilities, Wankus tries to joke about pimping out his wife. From his blog:

[quoteIt's a fucking weird world my friends. I am high on life with a gorgeous, supportive, smokin' hot, awesome in bed spouse but sometimes these odd thoughts enter my head and I just have to let 'em out! (laughs)

Until next time...be happy your girl's a legal secretary!

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How long before he starts beating her, do you suppose?

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How long before he starts beating her, do you suppose?

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They already resorted to blasphemy to generate controversy and sales. Next comes the gangbangs and trannies, I suppose.

The anti-religious material gives Lord Master Damien wood.

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