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#153983 - 03/19/06 06:18 AM
Jamie Lynn Birthday Pictures Monkey Style
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Heres the birthday girl, not looking a day over 45. If the corset plus leather jacket look is coming into fashion then please tell me now so i can find a light fitting to hang myself from.
Hey baby, happy birthday (kisses check), so umm you have any blow (twitches) , no sorry she replies. Oh, you know anyone here that might have some? (scratches head and rubs neck). No. Okay thats okay (nods head 14 nods too many). Silence (he walks away)
(he returns 5 minutes later). Well it was good to see you, but ive got to go, I just remembered that i have to pick up my sister from the airport, take care
Hey luke. Guess the name on my birth certificate, go on guess. You will never get it.
Oh my god, we are like so hot right now. asian one responds, i know, we are so like totally like paris and nicole, arab one excited and surprised responds Oh god, i was so thinking the same thing. both turn to each other and excitedly run on the spot and giggle like a bad waynes brother movie.
She could kinda pass for gena davis' mother if it wasn't for her pdiddy grill.
Edited by smelly monkey (03/19/06 06:34 AM)
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#153987 - 03/19/06 11:23 AM
Re: Jamie Lynn Birthday Pictures Monkey Style
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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 Reasons nobody is buying Penthouse anymore #263: There are gonzo starlets that are better looking than your 'Best of the Best'. For the record, I despise Courtney Cummz's piercings, but in a straight head-to-head, she blows this chick out of the fucking water, and that's just on looks, nothing to do with what Ms. Cummz is prepared to do on camera or how well she does it. I mean, if she's the Penthouse Pet of the Year, what the fuck did the other 11 look like?  Penthouse need to take whoever is in charge of 'casting' outside and have them shot, quite frankly...yes, I realise these are 'candids', and taken by Luke (which says a lot), but I've checked out some other pics of her and I have to say, she just ain't cutting it. She could be a Playboy NSS model, but I don't think she'd make it as a Playmate. 
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#153988 - 03/19/06 11:29 AM
Re: Jamie Lynn Birthday Pictures Monkey Style
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Reasons nobody is buying Penthouse anymore #263:
There are gonzo starlets that are better looking than your 'Best of the Best'. For the record, I despise Courtney Cummz's piercings, but in a straight head-to-head, she blows this chick out of the fucking water, and that's just on looks, nothing to do with what Ms. Cummz is prepared to do on camera or how well she does it.
I mean, if she's the Penthouse Pet of the Year, what the fuck did the other 11 look like?
Penthouse need to take whoever is in charge of 'casting' outside and have them shot, quite frankly...yes, I realise these are 'candids', and taken by Luke (which says a lot), but I've checked out some other pics of her and I have to say, she just ain't cutting it. She could be a Playboy NSS model, but I don't think she'd make it as a Playmate.
I agree 100%, thats why all those magazines are going under because they didn't do a good job keeping up with the advancements in technology.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#153990 - 03/19/06 07:25 PM
Re: Jamie Lynn Birthday Pictures Monkey Style
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
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Thank for for bringing back these types of threads, you know I love 'em!
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I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.
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#153991 - 03/19/06 11:28 PM
Re: Jamie Lynn Birthday Pictures Monkey Style
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 06/30/04
Posts: 691
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The key necklaces are symbolic of Penthouse Pet status. Both Martina and Jamie Lynn are Penthouse Pets of the year and have an additional key necklance encrusted with diamonds. Jamie Lynn wore both necklances at AVN in January.
I prefer Penthouse Pets to Playmates because Pets more often than not have all natural breasts. Amongst Playmates, bolt ons seem to be the standard.
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Amor est vitae essentia
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#153993 - 03/20/06 12:09 AM
Re: Jamie Lynn Birthday Pictures Monkey Style
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
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What's funny is there was all of seven people at that party, and not only did Luke snap like 100 photos, he decided to post every single one of them. Quality content, Luke.
Jamie may look older than her years, but I'd still hump the fear of God into her. Then afterwards I'd take her to Denny's and get a fat senior discount on a Moons Over My Hammy.
This is Renee, Penthouse Puuuhhhh... Wait, let me try again. Penthouse Puuuhhh... Nope, just can't say it.
Ladies and gentleman, the reason most drive-in theaters went out of business.
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"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin
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#153997 - 03/20/06 02:04 AM
Re: Jamie Lynn Birthday Pictures Monkey Style
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 12/22/03
Posts: 1715
Loc: Everything for the people, not...
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once you go whit you'll want it every night.
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Theres a great big beautiful tomorrow...shining at the end of everyday.
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#153998 - 03/20/06 02:11 AM
Re: Jamie Lynn Birthday Pictures Monkey Style
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
Errrrr, Earth to Jupiter:
That's what chicks actually look like. Before they have been Photoshopped into incandescent splendor that is. Ask Holly, she will fill you in. The again, maybe she won't.
Holy fuck, is anyone really this naive?
Quote:
Penthouse need to take whoever is in charge of 'casting' outside and have them shot, quite frankly...yes, I realise these are 'candids', and taken by Luke (which says a lot), but I've checked out some other pics of her and I have to say, she just ain't cutting it.
Reading is fundamental, dawg...
As I said before, I've checked out some 'finished' pics of her, and I still think Courtney Cummz is a damn sight better looking in the face. Courtney's no real fave of mine (not that I dislike her either...just her piercings), but I selected her because I thought she had a similar face, only better, than Penthouse's 'Cream of the crop'.
You could send a blind man over to Prague or Budapest and guarantee he'd come back with better looking girls than what's on offer here...that's just how it is, I'm afraid. Penthouse has had some damn fine women in it in the past, and I'm not saying that Jamie Lynn is hideously ugly...just that there are far better looking girls out there to pin the hopes of your ailing publication on.
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#154000 - 03/20/06 05:16 AM
Re: Jamie Lynn Birthday Pictures Monkey Style
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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#154001 - 03/20/06 11:11 AM
Re: Jamie Lynn Birthday Pictures Monkey Style
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
Luke photoshopped out the red eye picture.
that's fucked up. I thought the terminator picture was funny. i should put the red eye back.
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#154003 - 03/20/06 05:23 PM
Re: Jamie Lynn Birthday Pictures Monkey Style
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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From http://www.lukeisback.comQuote:
Penthouse publicist Lainie Speiser writes: "Is Smelly Monkey an angry bitchy fag or another porno loser who is bitter and never gets laid? He’s not only bitter, but an idiot who knows nothing about porno or Penthouse."
Yeah, whatever...but if the rumours are true, then I'd say Monkey certainly works with better looking girls.
Fact of the matter is, the penis wielders amongst us (Penthouse's target audience) have looked at what you've got to offer and aren't impressed. Rather than getting into a insult-hurling match, perhaps you (and by extension Penthouse) would be better served by finding out why that is, and what you can do to change it.
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Bob, lay off giving the models styling tips.
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