Twenty minutes. I'd like them back.
http://www.lukeford.net/profiles/profiles/dara_horn.htm

I'm not familiar with the genre of "incredibly boring interviews with incredibly boring people," but I think you're making it into your own personal niche. I have no idea why you're seeking out people more tedious and empty than the interviewer (that would be you) to talk to.

I especially liked the part about the Jewess and her family holding up cards with numbers on them at the dinner table to describe how their day was. It's like The Royal Tennenbaums without the incest, mescaline and Gene Hackman.

Maybe next week you can feature a special interview with a person raised by nuns that makes documentaries about cardboard factories?

Arab, to be fair most people without a vested interest would have given up on reading that article/interview after the first 40 seconds. It's a niche piece, thus posted on his .net site. I am surprised you dedicated the whole 20 minutes.

Luke is an easy target, but do you really find him "tedious and empty"? I think his transparent moral duality and the fact that he bares his weakness in dealing with it is morbidly fascinating, almost courageous.

Hmm, I think that came out wrong. What I meant to say is that Luke is probably the only reporter more interesting than any of his subjects. For whatever reason, he picks these dead souls wandering on the fringe of American literature, sociology and politics. It's funny when he breaks them down into the fundamental building blocks of matter, like that "sex-positive" hipster awhile back. It's less so when he takes dreary people at face value. I mean, women like this--happy lives, happy childhoods, no conflicts, one big fucking happy face presented to the world--have pretty much destroyed literature for now and all of time. I don't blame kids for melting their brains into a plasma TV with Grand Theft Auto on it: by and large, fucking Pong is more interesting than anything these people have to say, in print or in interviews.

Secondly, conflict--internal, external, displaced, implied--is Luke's thing. He may be as much of a honkey as any descendent of British thieves and pederasts but it's strictly an Asian trait to ascribe merit to the complicated man who struggles with issues compared to the Westerner that believes he's got it all figured out. The love/hate relationship that he has with his subject--which has been going on for, oh, six or eight years now--is what sets him apart from some mindless drone like sexycity, caging drink tickets from the drugged and generally taking up the space that could be better used by importing some Chinese prole willing to work 18 hour days for a bowl of dog food.

Hey Arab! People on the board like what you have to say so I'm curious to know what you would consider interesting to see Luke write about on his site thats more interesting than the writer himself?

Fine, Arab's five helpful steps to recover Luke's mojo:


1. More Jim Goad. It's bizarre, you already know the most brutal, savage writer of this generation yet you ponder whether or not the Holocaust destroyed the linear narrative of Jewish literature with Homely Spice.

2. More Amalek. I know he's your pretend friend and everything but he hasn't been around since Holly came back around. I realize I'm encouraging your split personality here but DANCE MONKEY BOY, DANCE.

3. Fewer shrill harpies in your life will improve your complexion and make for better reading, so get rid of Cathy Siepp and the rest of the weird yentas. More Kendra, more Mary, and what the fuck happened to Rob Spallone stealing double-A batteries from the Kwik-E Mart?

4. Schedule more interviews with producers and directors. The best Luke story ever was when Buck Adams had a nervous breakdown on set while your tape recorder whirled away. While you're at it, "What kind of kids did you hang out with in high school?" is not an interesting question, though I'm amused that you're asking it both of whores and creepy Jewish chick writers concerned about the non-anthropological perspectives on their community.

5. More discussions of Torah, because it cracks me up whenever I see written in plain English what you crazy Orthodox believe.

Finally, the one that will really set you on the right path:

Interview David Duke. The man is a whore and will speak with anyone that will ask. You, Luke Ford, are the perfect man to wave a microphone in his face:

a.) You're Jewish (well... not to real Jews, but to Duke you are), he burns crosses, it's hilarious,
b.) Unlike your yenta posse, he's actually led an interesting life, and he'll probably ask you for a few numbers of porn chicas if the rumors are to be believed,
c.) He's had more plastic surgury than Houston, so you can recycle most of your porn star questions, and
d.) Because deep down, despite waving your tefillin around to all and sundry, you agree with him on just about every social issue except for the gas chambers, and I think the two of you seeing eye-to-eye on things will bring about the kind of closure that Jew and Gentile need.

I'm all about hearing craziness of David Duke LOL Good list there!

Thanks for the tips. The Dara Horn interview was designed to impress an audience of one at grad school but then I got delusional and thought more people would enjoy it.

I think you should have like an aggression ratio, Luke. For every one of these, maybe you should add about 2 Goads, a couple of Nazis, etc. Just an idea!

Holly

It's Saturday night, you're single, cute, open-minded and work in the sex biz...now go out and live a little!
Fuck, how am I to aspire to living the life if even those that do, don't. Dammit!

Can I just post a beautiful interview with an amazing girl? That should make up for all the other stuff. I'm sure you all remember Donna Doll, she was on the cover of Xcitement's 411 a couple months ago. You can check it out on line if you go to the ADULT FUN 411 content pages. Well I have a special exclusive treat for you. When we did the photo shoot with Donna, she was all natural. A couple months later, I see her picture and damn if her boobs didn't grow a couple sizes! She was nice enough to allow me to share the before and after pictures of her beautiful bust. I also chatted with her about what it was like. Donna's in Louisville at 2:30 am when I decide I want to talk to her. I'd say she was pretty cooperative, lol. Pics no other star would show you, and an interview in the middle of the night. THANKS DONNA!

Writercindi [2:12 A.M.]: Did it hurt?
Donna [2:13 A.M.]: Only after the surgery for about 2 weeks. I had a lot of swelling
Writercindi [2:13 A.M.]: Did you have to massage them, or use special cream on them, or do anything different after you got them?
Donna [2:14 A.M.]: Yes I had to massage them 4 times a day for 5 mins
and I used vitamin E oil on them for the skin
Writercindi [2:15 A.M.]: Did you have any help with that? lol I know you want them even bigger, what is your final bra size going to be?
Donna [2:16 A.M.]: I am 34 D now I would like to go a little fuller to 34 DD. Yes I had a little help with the massages ;-)
Writercindi [2:16 A.M.]: Do your fans and friends notice immediately? What are some comments you are getting?
Donna [2:17 A.M.]: Wow your boobs look great! The doctor did a good job! They are spaced perfectly. This kind of stuff is what they tell me
Writercindi [2:18 A.M.]: Well I think you were perfect b4, but now you are just perfect with bigger boobs
Donna [2:18 A.M.]: Ahhh thanks I hear that a lot too, but it sounds more real coming from you.
Writercindi [2:20 AM ] Okay I won't keep you, I know it's late. Your website is www.xxxdonnadoll.com and you just put out the movie AMA's "Rio Whores" with your first Anal Scene!
Donna [2:22 AM} Yes I did! I would love if everyone would go to see my site and the new movie!
Writercindi [2:24 A.M.]: Thank you, for the interview. I gotta get back to work, after all it is only 2:30 am, lol. Have fun and stay safe! xoxox
Donna [2:24 A.M.]: Thanks Take Care we'll get together real soon! XOXO Donna
Writercindi [2:24 A.M.]: bi bi
Donna [2:25 A.M.]: bye

I want to post the b4 and after pics but am not sure this is gonna come out right. that is why I love Smut so much, he takes care of the details for me, lol. Have a great weekend all!
xoxo,
cindi