OK, I had no idea it was this easy to talk a girl into doing porn, but my friend and I met a girl this weekend who not only wants to do porn, she's enthusiastic about it. We pretty much explained it to her like this: You have to do a bunch of scenes in the beginning, but you'll only make about $500/scene. And they're nasty scenes, like gangbangs, etc. Later, once you're popular, you'll only have to do a couple of movies a month, but you'll make a lot more money. Once you hit 35 years old, you'll pretty much have to go back to doing gangbangs & throatfucking. Oh, we also told her she'd have to sign a general waiver excluding us from liability if anything bad happens to her, like getting herpes. Which we told her she was guaranteed to get.

Then we gave her a general line of questioning to determine how freaky she is. Questions like: Are most of your friends guys? Growing up, did you ever live with a family member who was not one of your parents. And so on. Basically this girl has the bio of the ultimate porn performer: Her mom has had 7 husbands. Her biological father (husband #3) now lives in Florida at a nudist colony. She got kicked out of the military 2 weeks ago. First she said it was for smoking weed, then later admitted she was given an honorable discharge after being raped in Korea. Since the rape, she suffers from post traumatic stress disorder & schizophrenia (which runs in her family on the female side). Basically, if anything stressful happens now, she turns into another person and doesn't remember anything she does.

The thing is, the girl looks great. 3 piercings down the middle (tonge, belly-button, hood). A tattoo across her back that reads (In Korean): I fucked your dad twice. She's 90% Irish. Really pale, like a Charlotte Stokely with red hair. We had to pick a name for her, so I told her since Saint Patricks day is coming up her name will be: Wendi O'Patrick.

After joining the military, she discovered in basic training that she really likes black guys. She said the military is nuts: smoking weed, gangbangs in the barracks. Girls sleep with the sergeants so they don't have to do any work. The guys make tons of money in Iraq but don't have anything to spend it on, so the girls work as strippers & prostitutes to extract the money from them.

She really wants to sign a contract and do porn. She called her sister and left the following message: "Hey, I met these 2 great guys who are going to put me in a porno and pay me $500 a scene. Also, I'm about to sign a contract that guarantees I'm going to get herpes. I'll call you later." Then she spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out, getting drunk and trying to scrape enough residue out of her pipe so she can get high. She only smokes weed, but she's open minded about coke & ecstacy.

She's willing to do pretty much anything, except midgets. I told her that's too bad, because this is going to be her big introduction scene: A leprechaun is sitting on his pile of gold, smoking weed on his birthday. His friends show up and they say, "Shaughnessy, dude, happy birthday..." Then Wendi jumps out of the cake naked. She looks at the Leprechaun and says, "Dammit, I told you guys I don't do midgets." Then she fucks all of the Leprechauns friends right in front of him. Then he spends the rest of the movie trying to get laid.

Anyway, she wants us to come back with a camera and lights. She said she'd basically pick a guy out at the bar and offer to fuck him on film. Also she wants to strip at the next amateur night. We told her that can be her audition to see how she performs in public.

DaBurg said porn needs some writers sometime back.....I think we have found someone with time could be the next big thing in porn screen writing.......


fuckin classic....some people have way too much time on their hands!!!! Whoa!!!!!

This dude is actually real, which is the scary part. He's a rich spoiled guy whose 'friend' is a person he pays to be his sidekick.