This reminds me of the time in College I dated three times a chick from Northeastern University who was an amputee on her right leg mid thigh (she had some kind of infection during childhood that required amputation...otherwise she was definitely fuckable.) Anyway, on the third and last date, I was in her apartment, and felt it was time to either bang her or call it off cuz she was about as interesting as a Physics Major at MIT who's idea of living on the wild side is dropping an aspirin in his pepsi cola on a saturday night...

Anyway, we were making out in her bed, and she had removed her prosthetic leg and placed it next to her bed. After about 20 minutes of foreplay, we were down to our underwear when she decides she wants to wait...WTF? Along with the fact that we were both cripples and sex opportunities are below average in terms of frequency, we had already reached what I considered the FAIL-SAFE point...nothing doing, though, "NO means NO. STOP means SYOP, right?" I calmly said I understood and rolled over onto my side and feigned drifting off to sleep. A few minutes later she hops (on her one leg) to the bathroom to take a piss and I seize the opportunity...I throw my pants on, jump into my wheelchair, GRAB her fake leg and bolted out the door. I put the Leg in the Janitor's Broom closet at the end of the hallway on her building's floor, and made my way home. That night, around 3 am, My phone rings and she is Hysterically upset...I remained cruelly silent as she pleaded with me to tell her where her leg was. I waited 26 minutes before telling her it was (hopefully) down the hall in with the mops...She called me every name you can think of, while I furiously jerked off on the other line, and shot the biggest load of my life as I imagined her hopping down the long hallway, her stump dangling in a macabre, sexy manner as she tried to find her prosthesis...THANKS for bringing back that memory, Mr. No-teeth-fetish dude...