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#149847 - 02/28/06 10:30 PM
All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
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Like porn, football no longer has an off-season. And with Texas brainiac Vince Young going to the Combine and doing so well on the Wonderlic Test, I got to thinking about some of the whores in the other year-round sport of fucking on camera for money. I suspect some might have a little more upstairs than two pounds of makeup.
1.  Asia Carrera. A long time ago, Asia Carrera had natural tits, a natural face, and a nice landing strip north of the Y. That's all gone now, I suppose she's technically "retired" from smut. She admits to being painfully shy, but apparently not with her money, because she used to dole out financial advice on her website like she was George Soros. If she's even half telling the truth about her insight into investing, she's got to be quite wealthy by now. And a roaring computer geek.
2.  Kay Parker. Believe it not, World War II was still going on when Kay was born. She is well-spoken and graceful in any interview. If you didn't know her porn career, you'd never guess she attained stardom acting in three incest movies. Even crusty Jim Holliday said, ""Kay is perfect in front of the television camera. Any hostile minister... anti-porn guy is going to melt. How could Jerry Falwell scream venom at Kay Parker when she's sitting there saying, 'My sex life was enriched by porn?'" Was Mike Ranger a lucky guy? I say, yeeeessss.
3.  Traci Lords. Remember Tommy Boy? Traci is smart like Chris Farley, not smart like David Spade. She gave the porn industry a collective Dutch Oven, and continues to get away with it every day. Jim South says he spent $100,000 defending himself, Ginger Lynn brankrupted herself and did some time in the pokey. Movie distributors and retailers must have been out millions when they had to burn all her smut. Yet Traci went on to a B-list career in mainstream movies and TV. Remember Melrose Place? Was her smut all that? Ummm...let me say I have, in a 2257-compliant and fully legal setting, seen some of the "product," and it is, even with Finnish subtitles.
4.  Gia Jordan. Yeah, maybe we're biased at XPT because she contributes often, so what? She takes math books to porn sets? I suppose that gives new meaning to analytic geometry. Also an alleged photography buff.
5.  Savanna Samson. Olivia appeared under her real name on MSNBC this afternoon to shill her porn and her wine, which has been critically praised by wine makers. Seems that Steve Hirsch is footing the bill for her to start her to start a production company, too. I know she's not the one sitting out in the vineyards deciding what blend of grapes to put into the bottle, a decent vintner makes over $250,000 a year. So Savanna will continue to spread her legs for cash. But she was conversant and seemed to have a brain in her dome, which I rarely expect from Vivid whores. Plus she had that look in her eye which said, Dan Abrams is a pudwacker, and she's right.
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#149848 - 02/28/06 10:44 PM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
Gia Jordan. Yeah, maybe we're biased at XPT because she contributes often, so what? She takes math books to porn sets? I suppose that gives new meaning to analytic geometry. Also an alleged photography buff
What kind of math books? I will happily exploit my math aptitude to get to know a self-described cum-gobbler better.
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#149850 - 02/28/06 11:34 PM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Melissa Lauren Should be on here, simply cuz she's french right? What about Padova? She's got that 'blinded by science' angle going right? I would put Christie Lee on this list simply because her hotdog wiener ends looking like butthole analogy belied a certain creative descriptive genius that marks many untapped brains. I think the girl is smart....
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#149851 - 03/01/06 12:58 AM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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Quote:
Quote:
Gia Jordan. Yeah, maybe we're biased at XPT because she contributes often, so what? She takes math books to porn sets? I suppose that gives new meaning to analytic geometry. Also an alleged photography buff
What kind of math books? I will happily exploit my math aptitude to get to know a self-described cum-gobbler better.
My favorite photographers are Helmut Newton, Juergen Teller, and Robert Maxwell (who I've met a few times). I've been doing photography as a past time for 10 years, but sometimes I get paid assignments. I just started assisting and it's teaching me a lot about lighting.
Math is my other favorite. Currently I'm reading Mathematics of the Idea Villa and Other Essays. Well, decorating is a huge deal with me, but doubtful that you guys want to hear about Nest and World of Interiors. I don't bring math books to porn sets. I don't like distractions on set. The closest I get to a distraction is cruising this site on my Sidekick while in the make-up chair. Other than that, I just want to be immersed in sex. I'm out for blood and I want nothing to come between me and what makes me cum. I want to dress sex, be sex, look in the mirror and fuck myself.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#149853 - 03/01/06 01:29 AM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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jenna has to be on the list, but maybe its best we don't mention her, i can hear the fan boys banging on the gates of xpt rejection as we speak.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#149860 - 03/01/06 03:35 PM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 932
Loc: tricking blind lesbians in a f...
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quite the contrary i think its mostly said, not written..
_________________________
i don't want YOU to assume i'm being uppity or disrespectful here, but even shit eaters must work within reasonable limits.
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#149861 - 03/01/06 04:46 PM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
Quote:
Sorry GJ, if you're not a book-toting calc whore that's fine...I just wrote what was reported.
My calc books are at home and my analytic geometry book's at Tony's.
How far into calculus are you? Have you done multivariable yet? Girls who know triple integrals are H-O-T. If you want me to cum on my keyboard, explain the Bolzano-Weierstrass theorem.
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#149862 - 03/01/06 05:11 PM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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aka Gen Padova
Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4517
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The Bolzano–Weierstrass theorem in real analysis says that every bounded sequence of real numbers contains a convergent subsequence.
The sequence a1, a2, a3, ... is called bounded if there exists a number L that the absolute value |an| is less than L for every "n". This can be imagined as points "ai" on a graph. With "i" on the horizontal axis and the value on the vertical. The sequence then travels to the right as it progresses, and it is bounded if we can draw a horizontal strip which has all of the points.
A subsequence is a sequence that omits some members, for example a2, a5, a13, blah blah blah so on...
Here is somwwhat of a proof:
Start with a FINITE interval that contains all the "an". Since the sequence is bounded,( -L, L )cut it into halves. At least one half must contain "an" for infinitely many n. and then continue with that half and cut it into two halves, so on and so forth. This process constructs a sequence of intervals where the common element is the limit of a subsequence.
Since every subsequence of a convergent sequence comes together, the proof can be generalized to bounded sequences in "Rn" by using one component at a time.
I tried to break it down to make sense out of it but pretty much confused myself a bit. This could be totally wrong but nonetheless tried. One thing about mathematics, I've always had a hard time with is that its harder to explain in words than to just sit there and do it.
Is this wrong Phlog?
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#149867 - 03/01/06 07:52 PM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 36
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Quote:
The Bolzano–Weierstrass theorem in real analysis says that every bounded sequence of real numbers contains a convergent subsequence.
The sequence a1, a2, a3, ... is called bounded if there exists a number L that the absolute value |an| is less than L for every "n". This can be imagined as points "ai" on a graph. With "i" on the horizontal axis and the value on the vertical. The sequence then travels to the right as it progresses, and it is bounded if we can draw a horizontal strip which has all of the points.
A subsequence is a sequence that omits some members, for example a2, a5, a13, blah blah blah so on...
Here is somwwhat of a proof:
Start with a FINITE interval that contains all the "an". Since the sequence is bounded,( -L, L )cut it into halves. At least one half must contain "an" for infinitely many n. and then continue with that half and cut it into two halves, so on and so forth. This process constructs a sequence of intervals where the common element is the limit of a subsequence.
Since every subsequence of a convergent sequence comes together, the proof can be generalized to bounded sequences in "Rn" by using one component at a time.
I tried to break it down to make sense out of it but pretty much confused myself a bit. This could be totally wrong but nonetheless tried. One thing about mathematics, I've always had a hard time with is that its harder to explain in words than to just sit there and do it.
Is this wrong Phlog?
This is the Wikipedia article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theorem_of_Bolzano-Weierstrass almost verbatim. But that's a crappy little technical theorem anyhow. Now if any porn chick can explain Stokes' theorem, I will be a very happy chronically-masturbating geek. 
That's a tough one, though. Just Green's theorem would do it. Or the Euler-Lagrange equation. Come on Gen I have faith in you.
New porn idea: chicks gagging while struggling to prove mathematical theorems.
Edited by Golingarf (03/01/06 08:10 PM)
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#149868 - 03/01/06 08:45 PM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 36
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Quote:
I can attest to the fact that gia is an insane math loving whore. It's good to keep up on your math skills as an adult, it keeps your mind sharp.
Exactly the way that being donkey punched doesn't.
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#149869 - 03/01/06 09:00 PM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
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Did anyone get far enough to study the rule of Hartree? I might be probing into some complex physics here but I remember studying Von Neumann with a passion.
Oh- and you can't wikipedia this shit either- so either you know, or you don't.
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.
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#149872 - 03/01/06 10:16 PM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 5849
Loc: TX, USA
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I think Gia and Gen should just tell people "I'm studying algebra". Then after the inevitable dumb porn-whore remarks pull out a graduate level college algebra textbook and sweetly as the dweeb "Can you help me with this?"
_________________________
"If they can't picture me with a knife, forcing them to strip in an alley, I don't want any part of it. It's humiliating." - windsock
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#149874 - 03/02/06 12:51 AM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
Did anyone get far enough to study the rule of Hartree? I might be probing into some complex physics here but I remember studying Von Neumann with a passion.
Oh- and you can't wikipedia this shit either- so either you know, or you don't
You mean Hartree-Fock method self-consistent fields in molecular quantum mechanics? It's essentially a way of "averaging" a prodict wavefunction as tocompensate for the effects of electron-electron pair repulsion. (Which is not necessary in the hydrogen formulations that are the basis of introductory quantum mech.)
I vaguely remember anything, but still have the book somewhere. I have my hands full with other subjects, but maybe some other time.
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#149875 - 03/02/06 12:55 AM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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Quote:
Quote:
How far into calculus are you? Have you done multivariable yet? Girls who know triple integrals are H-O-T. If you want me to cum on my keyboard, explain the Bolzano-Weierstrass theorem.
I remember triple integrals being used in respect to 3-dimensional regions such as cylindrical shaped objects. I don't remember exact formulas (there were a few for this) but I remember that it involved set notation.
Not bad at all! Essentially one just writes out the multiple integral in familiar XYZ coordinates, then applies substitutions based on the coordinate system that would be optimal: typically cylindrical or spherical coordinates if the traditional coordinate system is inconvenient. Easy as pie, but I have to look up the formulae when I use it.
I'll try to say little else on the subject so you aren't tempted to track me down and take my lunch money.
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#149876 - 03/02/06 05:58 AM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 300
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Quote:
triple integrals being used in respect to 3-dimensional regions such as cylindrical shaped objects.
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#149877 - 03/02/06 06:12 AM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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hate to be a debbie downer but can we please keep the math talk to the appropriate board, the talent for hire
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#149879 - 03/02/06 01:51 PM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 36
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Math isn't sexy? What else is new? I always wanted to go to one of those Ancient Greek symposiums where everybody talks about math and gets wasted and fucks everybody, but unfortunately I'm not Ancient Greek. Math has got a bad rep since then - I think it's time to make it sexy again.
How about this for a movie: a competition between Gen Padova and Gia Jordan as to who can answer the most math questions in a given time while gagging on dick. Alt. porn. Winner takes 2/3 of the pot. You could have two separate guys doing it, also competing so that the one whose girl loses gets 2/3 of a smaller pot he's sharing with the other guy. To encourage spirited competition, you know. Rules would have to be established as to where the hands can be, how many thrusts per minute are allowed, etc. to give the girls a chance to speak. Maybe someday they'll play it in public school to encourage interest in math.
I'm 94.86% serious.
(Really.)
(Just not the part about the public schools using it; that's the other 5.14% that I'm not serious about. But the rest of it I am. Honest.)
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#149885 - 03/03/06 10:15 AM
Re: All-Porn Wonderlic Team
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 5849
Loc: TX, USA
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What would T.T. Boy score on the Wonderlic?
_________________________
"If they can't picture me with a knife, forcing them to strip in an alley, I don't want any part of it. It's humiliating." - windsock
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