Ok, I am left to my own devices this evening...my friend works a 24 hour shift in the ER, so I am on my own...I am was the Sports bar in the Mirage, I plunk some dough in the $1 Double Double Bonus Progressive video poker and watch ESPN...5bucks...pffft...10...zip...15....Nyet...as I scan the bar for hookers I notice several, it's only 5:30 or so but its Friday...I see nothing/no one special...of course my eyes suck and I dont have my glasses on so as to look less dorky...20 bucks...boing...25 nope, another BRICK!...The bartender I've known a few years, he's of chinese decent affectionately known as "whiplash Wang" due to his propensity of abruptly snapping about when you call him for a refill...

I ask Wnag what's the line on UCONN / West Virginia for tomorrow, when I press the max bet and "deal" buttons again....I do a slight double take/blink followed by moving closer to the screen...FOUR fucking ACES with a 3 of clubs....thats 2 GRAND, and I experience something moderately close to an orgasm....1 2 3 4 ACES...and the 3....2 THOUSAND bucks....Wang does a HUGE casino bartender/dealer "no no" and high fives me...drunk patron number one to my left yells "Holy Shit!"...drunk patron number two to my right drops cigar ashes on my right forearm as he slaps my back, hard 2k! 2000 ....then they move in, the blood/cock suckers....after a perfunctory visit from a slot manager who is 5 foot 2 (I know cuz I can basically see her eye to eye) and weighs about 222 lbs, I am approached by 3 different professional female orgasm facilitators and asked the most common question in Las Vegas to any "visibly" single guy at a bar: "Would you like some company tonight?" I only am able to hear one of the 3 "ladies'" names (Cheryl...the other two I cant hear at all, but in one case my deafness is trumped by her slurring)...but what really irks me is it is only 5:45 pm when they ask the question using the term "Company Tonight", fucking hypocritical unsubtle skanks, they really mean "Do you want to blow that money you just won RIGHT NOW? Do you have a room here? etc etc etc..." No no and no...sorry no....but in Cheryl's case, she was decent enough looking and less annoying that I bought her a drink and then put $20 in "Lucky Bucks" ( as the hookers call it when you buy them video poker credits, for the purpose of shooting the shit with them while you negotiate the price and type of perverted sex act (that your wife/girlfriend/secretary/Club Jenna Blowup Doll wont do for you) you wish to do with the woman ...

What Cheryl will never know is, I watch her out of the corner of my eye as I collect my ticket after politely turning her offer down, buying her a drink and inserting the courtesy $20 for her into the machine...If Cheryl had cashed out the 20 Da Burglar gave her, instead of furiously tapping the buttons and blowing the cash, I would have talked to her for a little while, since she shows (in my opinion) a modicum of smarts in not blowing the measly 20 bucks mindlessly....

2 grand...money for nothing (well a 25 dollar risk in this particular instance....)

2 grand...if I was a porn chick, how many loads would I have to have blasted on my face on a Brandon Iron shoot to earn that? Seriously anyone know?

2 grand...makes for a nice evening for Da burglar....or maybe I will just retire, and wait to see what the line is on UCONN/West Virginia tomorrow....

Da Burglar's dilemma...which will he choose

2 grand worth of Vegas late night entertainment

OR

Plopping a wad on the game tomorrow and whooping it up in the Golden Nugget sports bar...

WAD vs "Wad"

Burglar,

Put some money on New Mexico State against Pacific tomorrow night. You'll thank me later. Pacific always shaves.

Malice

Back in Vegas already? You could lose that 2 grand on the craps table in 5 minutes, if that. That's probably what I'd do. But seriously, have fun and don't do too much time-traveling, if you know what I mean.