Today we introduce a new feature to the conversation: The Misery Index (Or TMI). The purpose of this statistic is to develop a quantitative measure to determine the Mr. Misery 2006. All posts will be rated on a scale of 1-10, with a score of 10 indicating perfect misery. Occasionally celebrity guests will be empaneled to judge the contestants. The winner will be announced Jan. 1, 2007.

But to spare the crestfallen runner-up even more misery, we'll allow him to daintily slip a rose in the winner's mouth.

Misery Index for today:

BORNYO: A very lackluster 2. After doing cartwheels in his Winnie-the-Pooh pajamas about the news he might be placing a real rose in a man's mouth, he lamented that he didn't get any today. He did, however, kiss his entire dildo collection.