when one of my friends went abroad for a semester, he did a program where you stayed with a family. apparently part of the way in, the couple split, and the french dad was the one who was into having americans around from day one.

the french dad split, the mother started pocketing the rather generous meal-stipend and refusing to feed my friend and the other guy who lived there or really allow them access to food.

eventually, a lightbulb went off in this kid's head--he'd punish the woman by jerking off into her toiletries, which he did daily. every few days for the latter half of a fall semester, i'd get an email from him being like, "today i took a shower, came in her face-wash. yesterday it was the conditioner. i'm glad i brought my own toiletries, i ate a bit of bread today, the nearest market is miles away and i'm out of chocolate. at least i know my semen was covering this witches' face earlier today. help me-dan"