Quote:

Current Mood: Flummoxed
Song: In Between Days – The Cure

Talk about weird…last night I was at a gathering of friends, and I met (for the third time) a chick who is a friend of a friend. She’s fairly hot, not dumb, …..and six months pregnant. And for whatever reason, she followed me around 2-1/2 of the 3 hours I was there. At first I thought it was my new cologne and my muscular pecs, but then I received some 411 from my friend that this chick is TOTALLY single (does not know who the dad is…or doesn’t want to know…) and is actually looking for a “safe” guy to fuck. How I seemed “safe” is beyond me, but needless to say once I learned this, my mind starts to work, even as I am talking to her face to face about her career (Pharmaceutical sales…seriously…) I am trying to picture how the fuck I could actually…um, “Fuck”, this chick. She’s 5’-7”, and with the 2/3 cooked bun and all it’s accessories (womb & fluid) has got to be 150 lb nude…I’m strong but I’ve never tried to hump anything with the contour of a Medicine ball….but she’s cute so I am thinking with my cerebral protractor and calculator…I’m like “Hey I took physics, figure this out…”

Soup to nuts….given her condition and mine….the mental images I came up with of us actually having sex, during one of her 7 piss breaks during our extended conversation, were surpassed in awkwardness only by the Joe Pesci/Sharon Stone Sex scenes in the movie “Casino”…or maybe Tom Hanks and Antonio Banderas as the dancing Gay Sailors in that movie by the guy who did Silence of the Lambs…either way, I went home after “a cuddle and a peck on the cheek” (The Kinks).

Thanks to a certain “Blog” I read yesterday morning, my mind has been on Anal sex the last 24 hours…my horror of cumfart cocktails not withstanding. Does anyone know what happens to the rectum when a chick is 6 months pregnant? I would think the gate is more shut than normal, but I could be wrong. I refuse to google research this to preserve the illusion of morality I think I still have and be able to look my friends’ in the eyes when I say “I am not that kind of boy….” even though I am …



Hey DB, glad to hear my myspace blog got in your head a bit. I say fuck the chick, the kid has no teeth yet so no need to worry about getting your tip bit. And i may be wrong, but i think a lot of chicks get hemorrhoids when prego. Here is a question for any of the board members in the medical field, if the baby gets its nutrition from what mom eats, does the baby ingest cum if mom is a pig? And if that is the case, do you think that cum swallowing is indeed a trait a chick is born with since the taste for DNA pudding is developed as a fetus? And what if it is a male baby? What is the correlation of pig pregos and gay male offspring? Holy fucking shit, someone needs to conduct this scientific study, and of course site TunaCan Studios in the New England Journal of Medicine. If this works I am going to harvest the craziest cumbot ever, just impregnate a filthy porn chick and feed her load after load, then patiently wait 18 years and on her 18th birthday show up with the keys to a benz and a contract.

Yes I am going to hell
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