True story. At my old firm, I walked by the office of the chica nextdoor. She looked deep in thought. A few minutes later, I walk by again and she's in the same pose. I step inside and see she's staring at a filthy stack of bills on the table.

"They're not going to crawl away," sez I.

"They might. It was some stripper with a DUI. She came by and threw this on the desk to pay."

"So?"

"It's stripper money," she sez.

"So? What do you think is on it?"

"Well, blood."

I looked closer and sure enough, the bill on top was moist and red. I was trying to think of an alternative to "She's a stripper and she's on her period" but "Maybe she took it from a dead body?" wasn't much better.