I can't resist this...

Sammura, tonight, you can make $500. That's five hours of belly sex at your going rate.

I'll be at Wet on Lake Street for at least two hours while my girl scores and surreptitiously snorts a huge quantity of drugs and later tries to explain that bottled water and house music makes her wide awake and insatiably horny.

All you have to do is show up. That's it. $500 will be in a cash envelope for you. If you're really Sammura, the only thing you love more than Ron Jeremy's flabby gut slapping against that enormous forehead of yours is money. It's your lucky day.