I'm back after a weekend of high-stakes legal deathmatches and a life still more dissolute than it was before. From what I can tell, I've missed quite a bit yet... nothing at all.

1.) Sammura returned and no one cared. It's handling the shitty end of a stick when the circus freaks go around the block too many times and start demanding to be treated like people. You'd think that the sex industry--especially the sleazy trick-turning whores that smell of sweaty money and gasoline like Sammura--would have some kind of grounding in basic reality. I mean, where else can you assign a dollar amount to sex appeal? And the Black Smegol still only demands about half of the going rate of pussy in this town. There's a 2x4 of crystal clear reality for you.


2.) Ryan Knox has allegedly been banned, no idea why but when circus animals start... eh, just apply the theorum of #1 to Ryan too.


3.) Kara Nox is apparently the new XPT ItGirl. I haven't read enough of her to know if its deserved or not but so long as she steers clear of Wanko and talent agents that go by names that sound like really horrible college ska bands, she should do all right.


4.) Still another porn chica hates Gen Padova. I don't know why this is news since every industry person who has met Padova seems to hate her but I'm in favor of this one. Ashley needs to post in the Cage.

(The pitter-patter you hear is JRV running down the hallway in padded slippers from his 400 lbs wife's bed to defend the honor of his pretend friends. Peach chardonnay! Weee!)


5.) The AC Cream thread is dead despite Cindi's attempts to desecrate what is now a part of Cage mythology. Glory!


6.) Bishop is pissed off about something, I'm thinking that if he goes out and kills someone I could have about a 30% chance of getting him time served with Bill Kuntsler's "black rage" defense which he was never able to use since Colin Ferguson was batshit crazy. It's lying there, waiting, for an opportunistic son of a bitch like me. Wouldn't be the first murderer in my office.


7.) FreddieMac is one of the most annoying posters on this board, he's a legacy from XPT's days as a sub-ADT for uberraincoaters and he probably needs to be sterilized.


8.) EL GUAPO had a birthday, congratulations, I bought you a puppy but I got hungry on the way home and ate it.