Girlvert 5
Ashley Blue came away with a surprise coup at the AVNs and its nice to see a gonzo babe get some credit for once although my faves never seem to get nominated. No disrespect intended, but I think Melanie Jagger totally owned 2003 along with Judy Star. Or was that 2002? I forget, but maybe Ashley Blue's silly hand in mouth trick is actually a magic witch sign. The really disturbing thing about her Girlvert is that she is almost too good at it and you almost have to wonder if she really is the demented brat twat in real life as compared to the original Girlvert Keegan Skyy. It's no comparison, Ashley Blue's portrayal is almost creepy for psychological reasons, but fuck it she's a porn actress, right? Right on! Like who was the better Catwoman on Batman?
I guarantee you're gonna laugh and get hard watching the first scene with the tweakers as Girlvert explains how you can get high off the sweat of a speed freak. Urban myth or factoid of life? Who cares... This draws you pretty close to the madness of meth and Nikki Nite steals the show. Numerous times her lovely titties are bouncing so fast amid boff the pixels blur, schwing! Hey, I really dig that. Later, Gia Paloma gets some mean-spirited treatment and Steve Holmes is rightfully called "euro-trash" by the Girlvert. Touche' you frog loser! Next, super-cute fire-beaver Cherry Poppins endures a nasty encounter where you can almost feel the tension through the screen. Sadly, she winds up a spitty cummed on mess of make-up and sweat, but some of you dirtbags really like that. However, watching the behind the scenes might make one feel a little more at ease as the cast seems to have had a lot of laughs and especially enlightening was Ashley Blue's funny take on the Vivid sluts, but there's nothing wrong with eating Burger King, baby! Just look how great I turned out, but I digress. Girlvert 5 is some dangerously warped whack-off material worth watching, so go break out the pork rinds and vodka.