Degenerate and soon-to-be Chronic Masturbator Willie checkin' in from the Venetian. My middle-class sled made it all the way from Phoenix, and here I am in Vegas for the first time since 1998.

AEE is crowded into 2 large ballrooms, and it's virtually intermingled with the CES. I can't tell if the young guys in pimp suits are savvy C++ programmers, or slugs who've starred in 1 scene and managed to glom as pass to the event. (Note: Willie has never performed except in the shower or in other private forums, and he glommed a pass too.:D)

The traffic waiting for Jenna was longer than the hour I spent in traffic at Hoover Dam. Why?

THIS PLACE IS A FUCKING ZOO. You'd pass out if you had asthma.

Whoever accused Ashley Blue of being chubby is dead wrong. She is quite petite. She has the some of the least makeup I saw and probably looked better than most of 'em.

Someone needs to change "Where's Waldo?" to "Where's Luke?" I was supposed to help Burg work on that website, but no one knew where he was.

In general, the whores are WAY too made up. As was the case wit Cytherea, I suspect it masks what sometimes are substantial imperfections.

There is no way Burglar will be able to wheel that cripple sled arund with any ease. Get ready, boy!

AC Cream is taller than you think...and fatter. His fanboy backpack was as big as his corpulent gut.

There are fanboys here morecreepy than AC Cream.

Padova is really short. Her nose is not as big in person. I talked with Padova for a few minutes, made some lighthearted remarks thinking she would look at my badge which says "Willie D" in all caps-bold print. She finally breaks out with, "You know there's a guy who posts on XPT as Willie." Ummm... Padova thinks I am nervous. Of course I was, ZIP file! I've been drinking coffee for 5 hours, and my porn illusions of 20 years were stripped away (pardon the expression) 15 minutes after getting here. Her boobs are the perfect size for her body. Finally, a smart one.

At least 3 people who met me referred to me as "That shit-talker from XPT." I can't even imagine the carnage if someone showed up with a badge that said "Smelly Monkey."

Malice asks me, "So what do you think?"
"Not overly impressed." I reply.
"Go meet the whores, there are some good ones out there." Yes, they are whores in real life, too.

In general, the people in porn are either older than you think (producers, writers, etc), or shorter than you think (the whores). Even the stripper heels don't add enough. Except for Lexi Bardot...she is very tall.

I ask 2 carrying around a big time camera if they know anything about the Mary Carey episode (I think they were from Penthouse).
Answer: "Mary who?"

In a rude twist of irony sure to ruin any fanboy's dream, there is no nudity allowed on the show floor. The closest I saw was a whore in a baby pool with a plate (like a salad plate) strapped to her ass, and you could try and shoot those little suction-cup darts as her ass.

Kelly Madison took a step down in life by allowing Ryan to bang her. The "reality" of the reality site pornfidelity.com is as real as the reality of "Survivor."

Gia is very personable. She writes like her brain is moving quicker than her hand, and the hand is trying to catch up.

MIA for the 2 hours I loafed around:
Duke Floored
Monstar
Max Hardcore
Jeff Mike
Hillary Scott
Wankus
Taylor Rain
obviously Mary Carey

I'll need to post this before I run out of time...internet service is either $15 for 30 minutes (by LAN) or *ahem** $299 for 2 days of unlimited wireless access.

I'd like to go to a convention one day! What's it like seeing the girls in person? I wonder why so many short girls go into porn although I think short girls are generally a lot cuter! Were there any events happening or is it just a room full of different companies set up selling and advertising their products with girls signing?
Can you stay too long at a porn convention? I wouldn't want to start creeping people out - "Who's this guy hanging around the JM Productions stand - I don't think he works for them!"
Is Tony Malice a persona of Brandon Iron and did you meet the great man?

Between last night and this morning...my life has consisted of:

1. Wasgting money on internet service.

2. Winning $150 at the Wynn's craps table.

3. Losing it at the Mirage black jack table.

4. Hitting golf balls at 4:00 this morning at the Calloway driving range.

5. Getting drunk.

6. Riding in an elevator with Pamela Peaks (more on that later)

7. Sleeping in a fleabag motel called the Klondike for 2 hours ("sleep" = alcohol induced coma)

8. Getting 3 40oz Corona's from the local 7-11, and having 2 of them by 9:17 PST.

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What's it like seeing the girls in person?

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Depends on the whore.

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I wonder why so many short girls go into porn although I think short girls are generally a lot cuter! Were there any events happening or is it just a room full of different companies set up selling and advertising their products with girls signing?

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I'm 6'1", maybe they're short, maybe it's my view of the world. Plenty of events, I imagine, but I had alternate plans...I haven't been here since '98 and hadsome catching up to do.

Lots of whores signing anything on which a Sharpie will stick. I only allowed myself one fanboy moment and asked Gia for an autograph...and made her sign it to "My fave XPT moderator!" She had the nice necklace that somehow had fallen down around her waist.

Quote:

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Can you stay too long at a porn convention? I wouldn't want to start creeping people out - "Who's this guy hanging around the JM Productions stand - I don't think he works for them!"
Is Tony Malice a persona of Brandon Iron and did you meet the great man?

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I didn't hang around the Jerkoff Zone long. I mainly wanted to hang out between Kelly Madison's ample melons. Malice is a very upstanding person.

Kyoto, Monstar told me that picture was nto actually you, that you are a short white Jewish-looking 23-year old. He implied that your contemplating suicide, but that was always assumed in the coversation.


Did you ever get that list together?

Tony was pretty mellow. If you only met him once, and knew nothing about the napalm he writes, you'd wonder what he said to give Alyssa West that thrombo. Everyone at the JM was laid back. Missy Monroe was running all over the place. The only time I saw someone get pissed...two German guys walked into the JM area and sat down next to me at a table. Jeff walked over, it went a little like:

Jeff: Can I help you with something?
German (with a very thick accent): No, we resting.
Jeff: Well, this is an exhibitor booth.
German: Eh?
Jeff: This is my booth. I own this company.
[Die Deutschen get up to leave]
Sandy [walks up] BYE!.....assholes.