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#138485 - 05/18/09 05:01 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Mark_J Offline
Pervert

Registered: 10/02/08
Posts: 2058
Quote:

Apparently he has a following on Twitter - http://twitter.com/AceCartier
There's some great lines in here including- "@EXXXOTICA As You Know I Will Be There. Covering The Event The Way Only An ACE Reporter Can. ;o)




i'm not going to lie, the thrill I experience visiting his page is definitely unhealthy. this may finally be my excuse to sign up -- just to follow the musings of this genetic misfire, as he spreads his gospel across this land like a skid mark on male culture. consider the latest:

"Only Bad Part About This Miami Weather Is A Colony Of Ants Is In The Frames Of My Car. Taking My Car To A Manual Car Wash Right Now."

on the surface you might think "okay, a high functioning downie with rotting food and candy wrappers piled up under the seats can't figure out why ants are in the car" -- big deal, right. but it goes deeper. consider the bear that encounters fire ants for the first time- lumbering and curious at first, then suddenly wild eyed in pain. should one have intervened? absolutely not. let go, let nature. sad as it is adorable, moments like these are the important steps along ACE's spiritual path, as he's living the paradox of the self guided puppet, perfecting the black art of learning to enjoy losing.

the famous theologian William Barclay once remarked,"There are two great days in a person's life -- the day we are born and the day we discover why." for some of us, that life-mission is to help the poor. for others, to learn and celebrate the arts. for still others, to enrich one's self with knowledge. For ACE, it is to wait for the right moment to approach a lady at a porn convention, put on the famous vacant stare to convey the disconnect from reality, and while making a conscious effort to breathe through his nose instead of his mouth, proceeding to rub the small of her back, slobbering in her ear "baby i'm your cadillac- built for comfort, not for speed" -- telling her what she wants to hear.

my heart has been knocked off its pedestal by this human hamburger. when that fateful day finally comes that he takes his mother's .357 magnum from the drawer and spins the cylinder, i'd hope to be there- to hold him in my arms like Jessie Jackson on MLK, complete with blood smeared on shirt after the fact. to be able to say, "I was there."

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#138486 - 05/18/09 05:13 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Bornyo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
Well written post. Thanks.

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#138487 - 05/21/09 09:13 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Snowman Offline
Rob Black's Crack Pipe

Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 137
Loc: california

I'm partial to this tweet from last week ...

AC writes:

"@JamesDeen I Just Ate A Bacon Cheeseburger While Watching Walker Texas Ranger."

_________________________
-- Snowman http://www.raincoatreviews.com

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#138488 - 05/21/09 09:24 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Bill Hicks Offline
Bukkake Boy

Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 717
Loc: Off the mortal coil
People who capitalize every fucking word of a sentence make me want to kick a puppy.

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#138489 - 05/21/09 09:25 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
cqd Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 11/27/07
Posts: 4795
Did he mention if it was home made or store bought?
_________________________


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#138490 - 10/12/09 05:25 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
You've been banned Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 09/14/09
Posts: 241


Attachments
444529-php6l7dkzAM.jpg (9 downloads)


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#138491 - 10/12/09 06:53 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
ivorenginedriver Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 09/19/05
Posts: 3576
Loc: Baltimore, MD
AC Cream is blushing like a thirteen year old girl who just had her tits touched for the first time, and the dude was the high school football team's starting QB.

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#138492 - 10/12/09 03:27 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
freestylah Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 4856
Loc: The 4th International
Eraced!

Only Ace Cartier has erACEd phone numbers.
_________________________
The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.

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#138494 - 10/12/09 03:42 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
freestylah Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 4856
Loc: The 4th International
You mean 'Erasure'?
_________________________
The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.

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#138495 - 10/13/09 12:19 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
You've been banned Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 09/14/09
Posts: 241
Quote:
and the dude was the high school football team's starting QB. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/donkeypunchg.gif" alt="" />


Really? Do you have some dirty locker room pictures of him?



Attachments
444692-2.jpg (12 downloads)


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#138496 - 10/13/09 07:28 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
ivorenginedriver Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 09/19/05
Posts: 3576
Loc: Baltimore, MD
Thanks for the pix of C3X's advanced sexuality.

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#138497 - 10/13/09 09:11 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
You've been banned Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 09/14/09
Posts: 241
who is this "male talent"?

looks like the guy from "Hardcore Profits"


Attachments
444764-2.png (7 downloads)


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#138498 - 10/13/09 07:02 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Claude Goddard Offline
Whoremaster

Registered: 06/16/07
Posts: 2512
Loc: Slumberland
The obsession with gay porn on here has officially crossed over into creepy territory. It's like people are just looking for an excuse to look this stuff up and post it here.


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#138499 - 10/13/09 09:18 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Deactivated User Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 09/26/09
Posts: 273
keep that gay shit from AC's thread



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhfdofhWzHI

first comments:


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#138500 - 07/26/10 02:41 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
BIFF™ Offline
Sex Slave Trader

Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
All I can say is WTF?



Attachments
491301-aceface.jpg (4 downloads)

_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.

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#138501 - 07/26/10 07:12 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
Good God, what happened to his face? I know why he never shaves now. He looks just like Larry Flint.

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#138502 - 07/26/10 09:58 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
Class meets Class.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#138503 - 07/26/10 10:32 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Sonny Chiba Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 1135
Loc: Temple Of Doom
More comedy -


Attachments
491331-ACCREAMONE.JPG (10 downloads)

_________________________
I fucking hate you.-Jeff Steward

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#138504 - 07/26/10 10:33 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Sonny Chiba Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 1135
Loc: Temple Of Doom


Attachments
491332-ACCREAMTWO.JPG (8 downloads)

_________________________
I fucking hate you.-Jeff Steward

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#138505 - 07/28/10 06:00 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Anonymous
Unregistered


Why is this pic not in here?



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#138506 - 07/28/10 06:02 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
††† Offline
Pervert

Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 2141

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#138507 - 07/28/10 06:43 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Anonymous
Unregistered


I know where it's from. I'm wondering why Biff's been sleeping, especially since it's been in the XPT vault for a year.

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#138508 - 07/28/10 06:50 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
ivorenginedriver Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 09/19/05
Posts: 3576
Loc: Baltimore, MD
I really hate to see a fellow human being let himself go that way. Walk, dude, WALK!

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#138509 - 07/28/10 06:57 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Anonymous
Unregistered


I fear it's too late, Dude. In fact, I think even Burg would be hard pressed to find a mobility device suitable to the gentleman's needs. Maybe the DoD has a half-track project on the boards, but I doubt it.

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#138510 - 07/29/10 07:04 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
the unknown pervert Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
J.B. I could find a million mobile devices for AC. They are called hilltops.
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules

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#138511 - 07/29/10 08:49 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
ivorenginedriver Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 09/19/05
Posts: 3576
Loc: Baltimore, MD
AC gonna have to start with short walks, but that would be an improvement over his current deplorable condition.

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#138512 - 08/20/10 07:19 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Luca Eisenstein Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 05/15/07
Posts: 179
Quote:

Why is this pic not in here?







And, 2 milliseconds after this pic was taken, Brandon "Herpes" Iron became Brandon "Brandy Nine Fingers" Iron.

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#138513 - 08/20/10 09:18 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
ivorenginedriver Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 09/19/05
Posts: 3576
Loc: Baltimore, MD
Every time I see that dude I am reminded to keep physically active and try to eat healthy foods.

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#138514 - 08/20/10 10:02 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Luca Eisenstein Offline
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch

Registered: 05/15/07
Posts: 179
There's a reason why all those people have their picture taken with him. Have you ever seen another picture in which Brandon looked THIS good? Standing or sitting next to AC is better than working out, liposuction, botox and Photoshop combined.

He's the big equaliser. He could make ANYBODY look good!

Poor boy!

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#138515 - 08/20/10 10:02 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Nugent Offline
Sex Slave Trader

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 1326
Loc: Yosisterisawhore, CA
AC is a walking incentive in so many ways...
_________________________
If I wanted to hear a crazy cunt talk about her kids I would just go to a regular bar and talk to the single moms there instead. - Fiend

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#138516 - 08/27/10 05:04 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
BIFF™ Offline
Sex Slave Trader

Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
Quote:

I know where it's from. I'm wondering why Biff's been sleeping, especially since it's been in the XPT vault for a year.




I'm on it. Don't usually post or read the other forums here. General rarely and the shit list mostly.
_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.

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#138517 - 08/27/10 09:32 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Anonymous
Unregistered


Thank you, Sir. It's a humanitarian thing: Chuck and Ivor need their schadenfreude fix, too.

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#138518 - 09/05/10 04:26 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
BIFF™ Offline
Sex Slave Trader

Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
Pickin's have been slim of late.





Attachments
497218-fatty 2.jpg (5 downloads)

_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.

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#138519 - 09/05/10 06:47 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy
Harvey T. Bingham Offline
Rob Black's Crack Pipe

Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 51


Attachments
497261-handcuffs.jpg (6 downloads)


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#539469 - 01/05/12 07:06 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: BIFF™]
have2cit Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
Since there has been renewed interest in AC here lately, I thought a refresher course in his past here would be appropriate. Read it from the beginning and particularly enjoy the AC vs. Christie Lee dust up.

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#539472 - 01/05/12 07:38 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
AC is a cool guy and it was nice to meet him at a convention in Miami.

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#539494 - 01/05/12 10:01 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: DoronD]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
Originally Posted By: DoronD
This thread is kharma for that cumsponge , AC Cream. He has been vocal of his hate for me.Let's keep this thread going
i loled at this.i dont remember reading this.gonna dive more into this thread to see if there was a reason for the beef between these beefsters.

i just looked at his twitter thats acecartier and the last tweet was "nobody cares think ill take my drunk ass to bed",which was on dec 24.no tweets since then at all.did he go for the big sleep?
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

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#539656 - 01/06/12 07:46 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: BIFF™]
Brandon_Iron Offline
Demodded Diseased Dwarf
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 9174
Loc: Penalty Box
Somewhere, there is a company looking for an AC. I bet he could work for companies doing trampling or face sitting. Hot women do those shoots.

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#539688 - 01/06/12 11:53 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: frankie fatale]
fartz Offline
Registered Sex Offender

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2330
Loc: Central US
Originally Posted By: frankie figgs
Originally Posted By: DoronD
This thread is kharma for that cumsponge , AC Cream. He has been vocal of his hate for me.Let's keep this thread going
i loled at this.i dont remember reading this.gonna dive more into this thread to see if there was a reason for the beef between these beefsters.

i just looked at his twitter thats acecartier and the last tweet was "nobody cares think ill take my drunk ass to bed",which was on dec 24.no tweets since then at all.did he go for the big sleep?


Go check out my thread, figgs. I posted that tweet awhile ago.

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#539713 - 01/06/12 01:24 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: BIFF™]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
yeah i know,but at the time it wasnt his last tweet.
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

Top
#539745 - 01/06/12 04:18 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: BIFF™]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
I thought I read on one of the PSE Yahoo Groups that he died. He's the same as Fast Eddie that hung with Kathy Willetts, no?
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#539750 - 01/06/12 04:55 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: BIFF™]
J.B.
Unregistered


^^No. Different creepy fat dude.

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#539879 - 01/07/12 09:46 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: BIFF™]
Barry the Pirate Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 12/09/08
Posts: 8433
Loc: Great Pacific Northwest
I can't keep all these creepy fat fanbois straight.
_________________________
Having killed someone doesn't make you a killer- @KINGROCHE

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#539880 - 01/07/12 09:49 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: BIFF™]
Jerkules Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 07/15/09
Posts: 12905
Loc: 3 feet high and rising
Yeah, then when you add in all the creepy fat pervs it gets really hard.
_________________________
Thinking of cracked-out and/or tweaking whores getting their throats and asses brutalized for the next hit makes me hard. --Rear Admiral

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#551144 - 04/21/12 12:01 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: BIFF™]
BIFF™ Offline
Sex Slave Trader

Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
Can't find any new info. on this fat fuck anywhere. Sonny Chiba, if you're still out there help a douchebag out.
_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.

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#551147 - 04/21/12 12:39 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: BIFF™]
Steezo Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/11/06
Posts: 5287
Loc: Anchorage, Alaska
He's still alive and on twitter @AceCartier.
_________________________
"Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

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#551181 - 04/21/12 03:27 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: Jerkules]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
Originally Posted By: Jerkules
Yeah, then when you add in all the creepy fat pervs it gets really hard.
i know i just did... wink
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

Top
#551182 - 04/21/12 03:29 PM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: Steezo]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
Originally Posted By: Steezo
He's still alive and on twitter @AceCartier.

so what was the rub a dub dub with the chub?
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

Top
#568625 - 09/23/12 03:16 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: frankie fatale]
BIFF™ Offline
Sex Slave Trader

Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
No new pix on the AC front I can find. He's basically still trolling twitter for any porn chick that will feel sorry for him when he tweets how miserable his life is. I'm wondering if Cindy Loftus has given up the vag to him yet.
_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.

Top
#568663 - 09/23/12 10:21 AM Re: AC - Life as a fanboy [Re: BIFF™]
frankie fatale Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 7671
Loc: paizuri,pizza,poodles,photo
why the hell doesnt he just book privates?^
_________________________
i think of the past and how the future isnt how i imagined it,but the past is exactly where i unraveled it.excuses for failed attempts, gained another one i used a noose
it’s not until you fall apart you see the screws are loose-cage

Top
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