I fixed the broken links.

Holly did not do anything bad to me. She was just Holly. She was always nice and well-meaning and sounded apologetic if I was ever upset. She was often there for me when I was sick. She has a lot of things/people/ex-BFs/guys in her life that are more important to her than I am, and in the end, I could not accept that. I could not accept her for who she is (as much as I've tried over the past month). In the end, she's a burning house I must run from.
My desire was that when we were together, I would be the most important thing to her in the universe during those times (unless there was some pressing matter which I hoped she'd explain to me).
I haven't gotten this wound up over a relationship in about a decade. Somehow certain people just get to you and your rational thinking is overwhelmed by other desires.

Holly did not do anything bad to me Saturday night. There was no moral imperative for her to hang out with me and exclude other guys from her affections. There was no moral imperative for her to kiss me as the New Year began. She's always had other priorities above being with me. I've been someone she fit in at the times she felt like it and I went along with this like a good little whipped puppy dog. I accepted that I served at her convenience. As she paid for all our dates, as she paid for the piper, she selected the tune and I danced to it until five seconds into Jan 1.

We all make our choices and then we must live with them.