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#135800 - 12/26/05 07:37 AM
A MESSAGE FROM THE BLACKMAN TO ARIANA DABURGLAR
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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the new year is upon us in days. NO MORE WHEELCHAIR TALK. it's beaten in the face like kelly wells. it's assed-out like a cocaine drought. people hate it, you're very funny when you don't use it as a comedic crutch. STOP.
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"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#135802 - 12/26/05 10:30 AM
Re: A MESSAGE FROM THE BLACKMAN TO ARIANA DABURGLA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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a message from the blackman to ariana joilee kinda before your time, one of the most surreal posts ever. you're just a bright guy, we're all guilty of schtick sometimes. me, i'm guiltier than jeff skilling half of the time. except jrv, who came up with the hisexcellency account and fooled us all. we've beat genesis, hillary, pam peaks, and wankus to death--let's put the crosshairs on someone new and deserving. i tried and shit the bed with the jeff mullen post, but this shit is going to be a re-run and it's my fault as much as anyone's. upwards and onwards, my brothers-more sal/gypsy posts otherwise we're going to be as predictable as the courntey simpson pedophelia-thread getting bumped daily. let's keep this fresh, we've got people meaner than polecats and funnier than roxy jezel musing about "forms" and misattributing the philosopher. or we can just become a parody of ourselves, which is cool as long as garfield stays around. that's my new year's wish, taryn thomas is dumb as a fish,
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#135806 - 12/28/05 12:28 PM
Re: A MESSAGE FROM THE BLACKMAN TO ARIANA DABURGLA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i'm banned, or at least on house-arrest there. the people there are window-licking wretches. of course, that's no different than here, but there's less of the smog of self-delusion that chokes the potential for comedy. and we have super-macho man and guapo swoop in every now and then. i've never seen so much tact and sense of purpose about total filth other than people who watch those washington-insider shows on cnn and spit it back like a myna-bird thinking they've just figured the world out then immediately go back to making a methodical database of what girls have done double pussy penetration. the dream of the american middle class died on adt, these people own computers and can afford cable and they don't even know they should have been captured and enslaved as helots if those fuckers with all the rights of man didn't fuck shit up.
i want half of them chained to oars, but the boat wouldn't move because of the chronic-masturbation. and that entertainment-lawyer bob licking it off like a cat would milk, that man is the anti-arab.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#135807 - 12/28/05 03:35 PM
Re: A MESSAGE FROM THE BLACKMAN TO ARIANA DABURGLA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
and we have super-macho man and guapo swoop in every now and then. i've never seen so much tact and sense of purpose about total filth other than people who watch those washington-insider shows on cnn and spit it back like a myna-bird thinking they've just figured the world out then immediately go back to making a methodical database of what girls have done double pussy penetration. the dream of the american middle class died on adt, these people own computers and can afford cable and they don't even know they should have been captured and enslaved as helots if those fuckers with all the rights of man didn't fuck shit up.
i want half of them chained to oars, but the boat wouldn't move because of the chronic-masturbation. and that entertainment-lawyer bob licking it off like a cat would milk, that man is the anti-arab.
ADT is creepy and cumbersome (and not as abuser friendly as XPT...seriously, this board's format is so much more streamlined and easy to use.) Here, for those with 5 or more brain cells, the satire, parody and flying barbs serve several purposes involving catharsis and entertainment. XPT is intentionally intellectually retarded...at least that is how I try to be. XPT improves pornography as a whole by acting as a filtration system, a filth purification plant that clarifies and captures what smut is and should be. Since coming here a year ago, I have never jerked off so efficiently and been genuinely entertained simultaneously, not even by hot, doped out escorts...
ADT is seemingly so sexually and socially retarded, I am actually quite fearful. Here, if SIMP/CAOH or myself posts graphically disturbing prose conjuring imagery about Pistoning Peni' or swimming sperms marooned in some chicks ass and frantically dying as she cumfarts into a fishtank to see if spunk really does look like 'sea monkies' in water, well, everyone knows we are just being silly. But at ADT, when a poster earnestly talks about perfecting his "timing his own orgasm when jerking off to a scene involving <insert name of porn chick he worships>, so that the cumshot entering the chick's mouth occurs simultaneously with his dribbling upon his surge protector...", well, I shudder in creepiness <da burglar shudders>
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Are you gonna eat that?
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#135809 - 12/28/05 06:06 PM
Re: A MESSAGE FROM THE BLACKMAN TO ARIANA DABURGLA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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steph and drew are a lot cooler than their duplicitous users who kept complaining about everything from my avatar to
My opus, if you read one thing in 2005 on adt, read this.
Q:Hello, my husband and I are debating whether to buy a new car or a slightly more luxurious one coming off a two year lease. What's your opinion on the two we're looking at, a toyota camry or a 2004 saab 9-3? Is there anything we should know about the reliability or hidden costs of either?-Beth from North Carolina.
A:Hi Beth, Dick Cheney is the great satan and america must be shamed and punished. i'll send you a link to an unrelated gaurdian article upon reciept of your personal wealth you've acquired through such terrible means. it's important to start buying indulgences from us as well as luxury goods, they've got an alpha-hydroxy acid that strips away the taint of your human-rights abuses of the noble terrists you've locked away in guantanamo.
Q: Hi conor, I'm a 13-year old girl and lately blood comes out of my pussy, am I dying? Regards, Mary.
A:Thanks for writing, you're a wicked american and it's the blood of innocent iraqi citizens, i suggest self-loathing and pushups.
Q:Hello conor, as a child of the 60's my head is filled with acid-induced cobwebs and i'm appalled to see the fcc crack down on something like the super bowl halftime show. at the same time, i'm a parent and i need to know where to draw the line with mature content, do you have any words of wisdom? thanks, rachel from SF/Manhattan
A:Hello wicked american, outside of your fascist regime, you'll find europeans have a much more relaxed attitude towards sexuality. i suggest you take our lead and show scat films during middle-school sleepovers and birthday parties.
Q:conor-I'm worried about bilingual public schools becoming a reality and affecting my child's quality of education due to a lack of qualified teachers that can lecture in another language, are my fears unfounded? cheers, david duke
A:There's an old saying in europe-when facing difficult times, scapegoating and killing jews and gypsies is uaually the best response-i'd work on starting a local skinhead brigade.
Edited by jamesn (12/28/05 06:07 PM)
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#135810 - 12/28/05 06:10 PM
ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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Not that this point needs any reinforcing, but here is a small sample of the insipid talk that was considered "hot" today over at that wanker's paradise: 1. "What defines a facial ?" It took this asshole 2,856 posts to raise this burning question? This drivel got 15 responses. 2. "Deep Throat(1872)...Confused." This dude got confused because of the premise of the film (LL's clit was in her throat), but then allowed her "actual" clit to be shown while being plugged. It took Porn Einstein 753 posts to notice this, which brings to mind, why the fuck have you watched Deep Throat so much? Hasn't anything better come along lately? 3. "Mary Carey... bimbo of the year?" It took 23 reponses to come to the conclusion that...they're not sure. OF COURSE SHE'S A BIMBO. She lied about her tit job to an au naturale studio. And she's vapid enough to think her presence on the California political scene does anything more than cause Al Quaeda to point to her and say, See what we mean? I feel like someone just chained me down and made me listen to Yogi Berra soeed read Milton's Paradise Lost. 
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#135812 - 12/28/05 09:11 PM
Re: ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Human Garbage
Registered: 09/13/05
Posts: 1594
Loc: The "Phlogbox", apparently.
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It appears that useless liberal terrorist-loving Commie faggot Max Booty is gonna bring his whiny wanna-be Alec Baldwin routine to England.
If you want to be my hero, and haven't been banned yet, read this thread and suggest he move to a place that better reflects his views - like North Korea or Mugabe's Zimbabwe.
Edited by Phlogiston (12/28/05 09:22 PM)
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#135815 - 12/29/05 12:41 AM
Re: ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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I like both places in different ways, but sometimes I have to take a break from that place. Sometimes they either don't understand my satire or just aren't listening. Sometimes I'd be better off just going on there to shill Half-Pakistani Anal Cum Catchers #57 and signing every post with xoxoxoxo.
Fine example of just not listening:
http://adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topic.dlt/whichpage=1/pagesize=15/cat_id=1/forum_id=1/topic_id=73103/m=/73103.htm
Apparently, ryan12 wasn't listening.
And remember the Random/Taryn Thomas tan party pics thread over there? Talk about not understanding satire. Even after Random broke it down, ppl were still angry.
Notice xpt doesn't have a Porn Star Salaries thread. You'd think after 17 fucking pages, they'd understand that a 4k anal rate or getting paid in seashells wouldn't make their whack off experiences any different. It's like they need justification for what they watch.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#135816 - 12/29/05 12:59 AM
Re: ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
I like both places in different ways, but sometimes I have to take a break from that place. Sometimes they either don't understand my satire or just aren't listening. Sometimes I'd be better off just going on there to shill Half-Pakistani Anal Cum Catchers #57 and signing every post with xoxoxoxo.
Fine example of just not listening:
http://adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topic.dlt/whichpage=1/pagesize=15/cat_id=1/forum_id=1/topic_id=73103/m=/73103.htm
Apparently, ryan12 wasn't listening.
And remember the Random/Taryn Thomas tan party pics thread over there? Talk about not understanding satire. Even after Random broke it down, ppl were still angry.
Notice xpt doesn't have a Porn Star Salaries thread. You'd think after 17 fucking pages, they'd understand that it makes their whack off experiences neither better nor worse. It's like they need justification for what they watch.
Hmmm interesting GJ, another depth to probe in the perverted brain center where jerking off is controlled...I might actually be more excited and aroused, and thus achieve a higher return on ejaculatory investment, if I knew what chicks are paid what dollar amounts to do what scenes. Depending on much or how little they are paid, I may whack faster or slower, depending on whether I want to savor the experience (whack slower) or vent my frustration and anger at why a hot chick like Courtney cummz would do such a thing to herself for so little cash (whack faster)
I slammed Courtney Cummz hard in the other thread, mostly out of jealousy I may now admit because the dregs of humanity depicted in the Midnight Prowl Video, did in fact get to plow and Pop upon this beautiful girl's visage. But what set me off, and actually what may be lurking beneath my anger as sexual frustration, is the ignorance I have regarding just HOW much this hot young girl was paid for that. Especially after reading her "mind-blogging" blog entries where she laments her lack of Family presence amidst her porn "career", her depression and her "OH MY GOD what the fuck is wrong with me angst"...
GJ, in your porn chick reality Ricki Lake/Maury Povich type show soon to be in the works, in addition to doing live piss tests for drugs and sperm counts on male talent, see if you can work into the show a Business/Economics type report, where you discuss the economics of porn chick salary and the impact upon performance and product quality (i.e. Stroke worthiness...) Use some (hair) Pie Charts and graphs, and show at what point knowledge (like salary & drug use) the typical porn fan has regarding a porn chick produces diminishing returns with respect to whacking off orgasms and amount of splooge blasted upon himself/his floor/ his TV screen. You could pull it off, I am sure of it.
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#135819 - 12/29/05 04:58 AM
Re: ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i missed everything, text?
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#135820 - 12/29/05 09:27 AM
Re: ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Quote:
i missed everything, text?
How 'bout just a pic . . .
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#135823 - 12/29/05 10:09 AM
Re: ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Quote:
Seems to me you rather enjoyed it, I thought you'd thank him.
Well, we can leave such things unspoken, no hard feelings here. I thought it dovetailed rather nicely with his re-emergence on the scene. I know my place here, and the view is good.
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#135825 - 12/29/05 03:30 PM
Re: A MESSAGE FROM THE BLACKMAN TO ARIANA DABURGLA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
It's amazing how easy to troll the drooling masses that make up your average porn fan convention are. As it is, I think we've found the 2005 version of BGOL.
I have some history with Aiden- Belladonna's suitcase pimp/husband/webmaster. Basically, I stumbled upon him and Belladonna in a free chatroom at selenasilver.com. I can't find the link right now, but it was pretty funny and the guys a good sport.
He must be a good sport- my favorite post on that enterbelladonna forum is about six down in this thread , where belladonna calls out her suitcase pimp on their own message board.
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#135830 - 06/19/06 11:17 AM
Re: ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
Fucking ADT rejects...They did NOTHING with Holly Randall's ten questions that I plopped over there,
Burg...are you pissed just because they did not get all wound up over your post? com'on man.
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#135831 - 06/19/06 11:22 AM
Re: ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
Quote:
Fucking ADT rejects...They did NOTHING with Holly Randall's ten questions that I plopped over there,
Burg...are you pissed just because they did not get all wound up over your post? com'on man.
That's what I was thinking, too. "com'on man." It's a totally different dynamic there. For the most part it's as Arab characterized it- "shiny happy porno land". The topics run shallow and limit themselves to things that won't discourage the talent or cause guilt in the viewers/posters. Some of the posters have hot buttons, though, and that can lead to a totally different color of fun.
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#135837 - 06/19/06 05:02 PM
Re: ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 04/21/03
Posts: 675
Loc: Belgrade
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Quote:
I have no understanding why a person would want to hang out on a message board with the likes of Wankus, Swami, DenverDon, AC and Bono. 
Actually, Bono is the only regular poster of those named. AC was kicked out. Denver Don evaporated with computer issues. Wankus without Jamesn is a day without a mongoose, and Swami just gets shit for his shameless shilling ...
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#135839 - 06/19/06 06:27 PM
Re: ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9195
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Quote:
Did steph and drew get rid of Denver Don for compromising the security on the site? That's what I would have done.
Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: Yes, and those two pathetic excuses for people have yet to offer even the faintest hint of an apology to their members, fucking douchebags. 
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#135840 - 06/19/06 06:56 PM
Re: ADT Continues to Suck Goat Milk
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 12/09/05
Posts: 1291
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Quote:
It's like going to an AA meeting with a gorilla sitting in the back and you remark the gorilla and they throw you out for talking silly and wasting their time and as they escort you out the gorilla's big, brown, bloodshot eyes swivel in its head to follow your exit.
sometimes you post gold my friend.
i've only been to adt when it's linked from here, but it's not for me. i just don't have enough of an interest in porn. it's great to come here and be angry and negative and hate society and see the occasional nipple, but really i don't give a shit about anything that's not immediately entertaining or funny.
as CAOH said, it's all about the gorilla.
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