Nothing to worry about DBurg...I was waiting in line @ Safeway on Christmas Eve with my last-minute shit I'd forgotten. I qualified for the Express lane so I ambled over and to my utter astonishment, some fat old lady is in front of me. My first thought runs, Good, bitch won't be trying to cash her 1,200 WIC checks that she forgot about all year. Or, Shit, this is a new checker, I'll be here another 30 minutes while she self-teaches herself the debit-card machine.

Instead, the woman in front of me has me mesmerized. Not by some stunning MILF-good looks (for which I am a sucker), but because of the orange and blue Nerf football in her basket. My mind jumps striaght from the store to XPT:

1. Is that the same size as that Nerf the extremehole.com chick used?
2. Looks kind of nobby, how much lube would you need?
3. What kind of QB rating do you get from Kegeling that hting across the room?
And most troubling of all...
4. Is that why she bought the Nerf?
5. Damn, she hada pretty loose cervix, too...
6. What if she teamed up with that Jenny Seemore girl, the fertile IR-banger?

I'm now developing an ulcer over all this. Thank you.