I often imagine how I may react if any of the woman whom I've seen being sexually brutalized, degraded, and humiliated on video in the most awful ways had been friends or acquaintances of mine prior to the videotaping. I confess I am a very sensitive soul, probably not fit to live in the world. I'm not artistically inclined, understand; this is a useless sensitivity which produces nothing but emotional turmoil and most often eventual explosive violence of one sort or another. I imagine knowing these women prior. Liking them sharing jokes and coffee with them perhaps, knowing eachother's dreams and dreads. And perhaps a sexual encounter. Then I imagine losing touch and being reunited with her through video images of this sort. The sort I mean are a young woman allowing herself to be abused sexually in ways designed to humiliate with maximum effect, such as having penis thrust into their mouths to produce inhuman, awful, comical sounds and vomit. I supposed this is so we can know the reactions are real and involuntary. Anhyway, I imagine my reaction and my heart quickens as I even imagine it. I pace about literally, not wanting to live in the world. I'd want to crawl out of my skin, I think. Contact her, ask if she is ok, screaming, asking her why, asking her to help me. I imagine it that way. I also think about how relationships can continue under these circumstances. To my mind, when a woman would claim to me that the nasty sex is for the cameras, that she makes love only to me alone, I would lash out in rage. Making love is wonderful, but to the importance of the potential for sexual humiliation in a relationship cannot be overstated and perhaps takes precedence. I cannot put it into words. But it seems to me that knowing she gags and wretches on brutal peni acquaitances on video would devalue the relationship enormously, perhaps revealing it as a lie, and myself as a fool.

P.S. If the poster "gia jordan" is indeed the woman of the same name who performs in pornographic videos, this may prove to give myself insight into what my true reactions may be like. You see, I have not, as far as I know, seen any of Ms. Jordan's pornographic videos. And while I cannot claim we are even acquaintances, I have found "gia jordan's" contributions to the board very funny and endearing. I really don't want to in the worst way, but I may have to go to freeones and confront my fears.

Kidding aside - I have the same issues. I've never seen any of Gia's performances (or defilements - depending on your perspective), but I have a total crush on the XPT mod of the same name.

I don't want want to get to maudlin (even on Christmas Eve) so I'm going to go jack off to Max making Courtney Simpson puke with his cock now.

Peace on earth!

Will somebody get this man out to San Fernando so he can meet all these fucked-up people? He would also need a blog. I peruse the lukeisback at times and consider it excellent. And, I can not tell if this boy can produce on a daily basis like Luke. But, with first hand knowledge of what is going on out there, it has the potential of being so much more powerful and without the moral leadership nonsense.

cumalloverher, I'm all for the approach of telling a girl how you feel to catch her. That shit works. But this post has freak written all over it. You've got to tone it down a little. If Stephen King were to do a horror thriller about a fatal attraction between a man and a woman, with a letter stating the man's intentions in the opening scenes. I genuinely do not believe he could do better than you have done above.

CAOH is to XPT as that little involuntary jolt of electricity your brain sends to your heart telling it to beat...

Today I was sitting in Barnes & Noble enjoying the last of the Pumpkin Spice Lattes...I spotted a young couple, about 21-22 yrs old. Both very attractive, especially the young lady...they were in front of the travel section and had a large book about Italy they were looking through. The girl was playfully slapping the young man's hands, like he had said something naughty...I pictured the young lovers enjoying a vacation in Venice, the young lady's head on her lover's shoulder holding hands as they traveled the canals, a Gondolier with a thin moustache and striped pants smiling contently that he was helping these young lovers bond forever as soul mates, while fat ladies in dark dresses with feet that look like loaves of bread line the canal shores discussing recipe's for canoli...

..and then all of a sudden in my head I see the young man fucking the pretty young lady in the ass in some well lit hotel room, he is spasming in pleasure and she is moaning "ahh oh ahh"...he slowly withdraws his penis from her ass and stares as his splooge oozes out onto the hotel carpet, the blank, bewildered expression on his face indicating this is his first anal creampie/cumfart and he appears disappointed in the spectacle, as if it did not live up to his expectations...