James, our mother weeps beside her broken car. You shame the family with your depravity! Your lack of capitalization tarnishes your Ivy background that you wipe with your ungrateful black ass!

I should smack you with daddy's trophy swordfish. Your girlfriend keeps calling me about some bitch with a big rack. She's a lesbo and I'm on meds talking Darwin rejects off ledges!

Should I let them die and purify the gene pool? But then I lose my $300/hr.

No whey. I'm going out for hot wings!