Dear Santa,

I have been a very good boy, I haven't even murdered any hookers and buried them out back or anything this year. I have defiled many muslim and hindu women (I know how you hate the heathens) on my overseas trips this year. The following are the thing I would like for Christmas:

a puppy

a new plasma TV

Gia Jordans ass attached to my face

A picture of smartt's bloated rotting corpse face down in a body of water

A hillshire farms summer sausage made from pirate / swami / jsucka's small intestine

Some antibiotics for ryan knox and his throat gonorrhea

Thank You,

have2cit