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#132750 - 12/11/05 03:05 AM
Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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As 2005 winds down we can all agree its been a pretty quiet year for porn aside from the whole government taking large amounts of money from it in one hand and condemning the industry with the other which is pretty much boring to the majority of porn fans , myself included. Having said that I expect 2006 to be a big year and heres a few of the monkey's predictions fo what to expect. Taylor Hayes hits rock bottom: She burns two major bridges within the porn industry and resorts to performing a scene with Doron D for $500, selling her dignity (whats left) and spankability with it. probability of this happening: (58%)   Pencil sex becomes the number 1 killer within porn: New industry fad , sticking large amounts of pencils in starlets vaginas becomes the number one killer in porn when 3 actresses die of lead poisoning probability of this happening: (79%)  Jenna Jameson falls into a coma during scene with ashton moore: Jenna gets struck hard in the head when one of ashtons over the top bolt ons explodes from her chest at peak climax during her scene with jenna, knocking her out cold, she ends up on life support for 6 months to awake with half her body paralyzed, doing what many botched plastic surgeries and drugged out bachelor parties couldn't, end her career. probability of this happening: (96% a monkey can wish)  Natasha Dolling performs in more then 10 scenes. probability of this happening: (3%)  Savanna Samson's wine becomes the new crystal: Savanna opens her own vineyard and her booze takes off in the rap community, with people popping off savanna's top of the line bottles of 2005 SS scores, which is made from grapes that savanna squeezes between her legs on the main stage of scores which is left on stage overnight to air out, before being bottled up and sold at 2 grand a bottle. probability of this happening: (84%) 
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#132751 - 12/13/05 07:06 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Janine makes her 8th comeback and for her grand finale does a tranny movie. It bombs in sales in the US but does well in Brazil. probability of this happening: (75%)  This years winner for overdosing at AVN '06 is Jersey Jaxsin. probability of this happening (93%)  Sportswami continues stalking and harassing female talent. probability of this happening (100%) 
_________________________
" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#132752 - 12/14/05 02:03 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/04/05
Posts: 1006
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Damn Monkey that was a really good post....You're welcome. Love You xoxo Sincerely, Ms. Universe 
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#132754 - 12/14/05 02:43 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/04/05
Posts: 1006
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Excuse me, this needs to be said. Gypsy, who the hell are you and where did you come from? I don't remember you here before my wildly unsuccessful jihad but I can't remember a single interesting or funny thing you've said so I could be wrong about that.
I dont try to be funny or interesting. I just say whatever the fuck I think of while Im reading a post. I didnt know you had to ONLY BE FUNNY OR INTERESTING HERE. Sorry Mr. Zibbee, (spelled phonetically) if I dont conform to your tastes. Too fucking bad. Sorry again Zibbee (check your Arabic for the meaning of that word).
Who am I remains a mystery and where I am from is the cesspool they call NYC. There is that enough for ya? Or do you want some more information??
I only been since July and I dont know who the hell you are either, but I could care less. Why you worried about me??
Hugs & Kisses XOXOXOXO Gyspy
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#132755 - 12/14/05 03:23 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Gypsy's kung-fu is strong.
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#132756 - 12/14/05 03:32 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/04/05
Posts: 1006
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Gypsy's kung-fu is strong.
Thanks FLOOF, I will kick me some ass up in here. Dont get me fucking all rawled up..See cause that's how I roll, right dawg?    
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#132757 - 12/14/05 03:35 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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like john rawls?
btw, i've run several maged posts through every formula of lingiustics out there, even the oldschool chomsky TGG-c-hierarchy shit everyone knows.
maged is a turing machine, he has to be. fucking has to be.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#132758 - 12/14/05 03:38 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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No need for axe's, Gyp, its just a brush between the old and the new. Its good to see some of us up to their old tricks.
Edit: Turing Machine I learn something new every day in here. Again, I've got my money on Maged being from Egypt. That or he's Brandon Irons, of course.
Edited by John Floofin (12/14/05 03:43 PM)
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#132759 - 12/14/05 04:02 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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hey floof--i wouldn't look too deeply into what i said-i was running through things with TGG (tranny-generational-grammar). none of it's jackendoff-current for linguistics, but it's easy proof-theoretical shit to run through stuff no harder than algebra or BC calc. it's kinda late-50's/dead, but it was fucking revolutionary at the time. like huge.
i just think maged is a turing machine---have2cit or c62 or jrv can help us mere mortals figure the nitty-gritty out i'm sure.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#132761 - 12/14/05 04:32 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/04/05
Posts: 1006
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
No need for axe's, Gyp, its just a brush between the old and the new. Its good to see some of us up to their old tricks.
Edit: Turing Machine I learn something new every day in here. Again, I've got my money on Maged being from Egypt. That or he's Brandon Irons, of course.
OKAY FLOOF if you say so.....I love it here and aint no motherfucking body gonna chase my ass away from here. I dont scare that easily.
But Im very quick on my defense. Remember Im a New Yorker so I gotta always have my guard up and it is always up. But I always enjoyed his posts. I dont know what ticked his ass to pick me outta the bunch. Oh well, now I feel important, my name is on the mouths of all of them. Whether it be bad or good.
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#132763 - 12/15/05 01:46 AM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Human Garbage
Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 1683
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Well, you certainly told... uh... someone... off. I haven't seen that much spastic overreaction since I told the office fag receptionist that his eyebrows were uneven. I'm not really sure what the problem is with you, darling, but I'm pretty sure the solution is named Midol. It just seems unusual--no, strike that... It just seems fucking insane that some chica would show up in a place called The Monkey Cage and hurl limp-wristed insults at the Monkey. It's the Monkey Cage. And frankly even Sammura at her most cracked out cornchips-and-catfood crack frenzy came up with better lines than this. And seriously, what's with that New York thing? Everyone I've ever met from New York is an asshole, and explains away their social autism by virtue of being from New York. You don't see Bornyo pleading for his right to lynch Negroes because he's from the South, do you? Quote:
I only been since July and I dont know who the hell you are either, but I could care less. Why you worried about me??
Because the Cage eats its young, sweetie. It's how we thin the herd.
Quote:
Hugs & Kisses XOXOXOXO Gyspy
Sweet Tidings XOXO Simigl Aarb
_________________________
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#132764 - 12/15/05 04:41 AM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Probability Ryan Knox will make his final career move to medical school cadaver (84.5%)  probability the other guy, in this picture, is paying him for sex (92.7%)
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#132765 - 12/15/05 08:58 AM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
I haven't seen that much spastic overreaction since I told the office fag receptionist that his eyebrows were uneven.
that's cold, man.
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#132766 - 12/15/05 04:19 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 04/16/04
Posts: 2415
Loc: On the Mia Rose bandwagon
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Kaydence Price staying married and celebrating her first year wedding anniversary. probability of this happening: (0.08%)  Genesis going back to her old ways. probability of this happening: (95%) 
_________________________
" Bitch, not even a dumptruck full of Gucci bags would get me to do you. "- Gia Jordan response to pornactorforhire
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#132767 - 12/15/05 04:23 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/04/05
Posts: 1006
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Quote:
Excuse me, this needs to be said. Gypsy, who the hell are you and where did you come from? I don't remember you here before my wildly unsuccessful jihad but I can't remember a single interesting or funny thing you've said so I could be wrong about that.
Its okay arab, shes still a little upset that i called her ugly a week back. Turns out some women get a little touchy when someone confirms their greatest fear to them, that they aren't attractive.
 (gypsy of herself in her mind)
 (gypsy in reality)
Its okay SMELLY ASS, call me ugly all you want. I never have any problems fucking the best looking men and woman and without having to pay (before you stick you little dumb retort in there).
Your opinion means shit to me. I dont see a picture of you anywhere, hmmmmm I wonder why, you must be the ugliest bastard around.
Im not mad at you, dont you remember I always send you hugs and kisses xoxoxxoxoxxoxo.
And even give you props when they are do regarding a funny post you may have made. Not too many, but there are a few.
Weren't you leaving awhile back, I seem to remember you saying and playing the pity card saying you were leaving. What the fuck you still doing here?? Cant find anything else to do huh Smelly Ass.....It's okay there is room for all of us here.
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#132768 - 12/15/05 04:36 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/04/05
Posts: 1006
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Quote:
Well, you certainly told... uh... someone... off. I haven't seen that much spastic overreaction since I told the office fag receptionist that his eyebrows were uneven.
I'm not really sure what the problem is with you, darling, but I'm pretty sure the solution is named Midol.
It just seems unusual--no, strike that... It just seems fucking insane that some chica would show up in a place called The Monkey Cage and hurl limp-wristed insults at the Monkey. It's the Monkey Cage. And frankly even Sammura at her most cracked out cornchips-and-catfood crack frenzy came up with better lines than this.
And seriously, what's with that New York thing? Everyone I've ever met from New York is an asshole, and explains away their social autism by virtue of being from New York.
You don't see Bornyo pleading for his right to lynch Negroes because he's from the South, do you?
Quote:
I only been since July and I dont know who the hell you are either, but I could care less. Why you worried about me??
Because the Cage eats its young, sweetie. It's how we thin the herd.
Quote:
Hugs & Kisses XOXOXOXO Gyspy
Sweet Tidings XOXO Simigl Aarb
If everyone you ever met from NY is an asshole, honey you must be looking in the wrong place. Cause NY is the shit.
I have nothing against you, but if you feel the need to play with me, by all means go ahead. I am very thick skinned, remember I am from NY. So this shit rolls off my back like a fucking wet duck. Keep it coming I love it.
Fuck Smelly Ass Monkey, I can go where I want in this forum until I am banned, so until then, plan on seeing me around ALOT. Hugs & Kisses GYPSY XXXOOO
P.S. Did you look up the word in arabic I told you, I think I got it right this time. Its Zuppida. (check it out) It's you in a nutshell.
P.P.S. Who said anything to Monkey? I told him that was a really good post, WTF?? are you talking about?? Anyway, I dont give a shit. And I will not reply anymore. Have fun little boys, enjoy yourselves. Jerk off and stay behind your computer until your wife comes in the room and you have to suddenly change your screen to Wikipedia or something else .(hopefully you sad sacks are married, GOD I feel sooo sorry for some women).Sometimes the weed gets to me and my spelling and punctuation but other than that,
my IQ is 110. So Im not an asshole from NY.
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#132769 - 12/15/05 04:48 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Like water off a duck's ass, this chick is immune to the Monkey Pox. There are certainly some better targets on the board now anyway, unless of course they're all someone's pet duplicate accounts.
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#132771 - 12/15/05 06:48 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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fka ghostshadow
Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 09/13/04
Posts: 327
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smiling arab = smelly monkey.
_________________________
Wow, you really are a pathetic loser. Good luck going old, bitter and alone." -Jeff Steward on Gia but could fit perfectly for this mope freestylah
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#132779 - 12/15/05 07:59 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9182
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Quote:
Quote:
"wives"?????
Yeah, right. The XPT "wives" cost anywhere from $20 (DB's webcam stalker) to $75 (Brazzle) to $500 (upper-class Nevada hooker), depending on the type of "marriage" rendered.
It was $50... 
Sorry about that...my error. 
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#132783 - 12/16/05 12:39 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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Maybe that's the bat I should try to stick up my ass if there's ever a Violation of Gia Jordan. Or should I use Jeff's bat?
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#132788 - 12/16/05 08:31 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9182
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Quote:
Probability of have2cit staying at Best Western during the Vegas Convention (74.6%)
Probability of have2cit getting laid at convention (11.2%)
Probability of have2cit asking Robert Hill for an Autograph
(97.2%)
Who the shit goes to AEE to get laid by the porn whores? That would completely kill the fantasy. I figured that firewall and noahped, after asking for sex from Jenna and being kicked out by security, shared a taxi ride down to Pahrump for a spin with the real whor...errrr hooke.....errr working girls. My money says they make more jack than anyone else that weekend.
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#132790 - 12/16/05 09:48 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/04/05
Posts: 1006
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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#132791 - 12/17/05 12:52 AM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Probability ryan will be raped to death while serving 5-10 for the manufacturing and sale of methamphetamine (86.1 %)
Ryan what makes you think I will even be going to AEE? Stupid is like luck, it rubs off, and I fear just being in the same city with you will lower my IQ by at least 10 points. Not to mention you and Wankus together in the same building will create a force field of stupidity that could encompass the entire state.
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#132792 - 12/17/05 12:58 AM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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ryan, what's the cost for beating you to death and fucking your anus with a pistol?
do i have to email jimmy south?
xoxoxox
james
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#132795 - 12/17/05 07:27 AM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Quote:
Quote:
I dont see a picture of you anywhere, hmmmmm I wonder why, you must be the ugliest bastard around.
I met monkey once and this is really him.He even had that stupid bat with him but it now has JRV's name carved into it. 
Theres more chance of finding bits of jrvs hair, skull and brain tissue on my bat.
Quote:
See, this is the thing. Sammura never would have thought ahead to defuse insults before they happened. She just plowed right into them. Not to say Gypsy's smarter--everyone has something to teach the world, and I learned some great tips on breaking into vending machines from Sammura--but she's so energetically spastic that she's dreading the next post.
I really miss sammura, but then i know 2 days into sammura you know she has to go, she burns out fast, a common theme in her life no doubt.
Quote:
Your opinion means shit to me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After these last few posts, this is a bit like saying Skeeter would never pop off his bitch for being mouthy. You care. Your weakness has been found and is going to be mercilessly exploited.
 (knowing that the nerve has been exposed)
Quote:
Gypsy, time to start loading the tambourines and lockpicks into the wagons and move on to the next town, you're about to get quite a flaming for showing weakness
Shes really , unbelievably ugly. Did you see the picture of her? WOW. a close 3rd behind sammura and butterface padova.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#132796 - 12/17/05 12:00 PM
Re: Top things in porn to look forward to in 2006
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 07/04/05
Posts: 1006
Loc: The City That Never Sleeps, Tr...
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Strike a nerve, I doubt boys from behind keyboards can strike up anything, never mind my nerves. Like I said. I love the attention. I love to see my name in print. No such thing as bad publicity. Actually I come here looking forward to this. It wastes my time during the day when I am not working. 
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See? Now that's good. You're back on the + side of Arab's +/- list of people I may bother to inform before the dirty bomb goes boom. 
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