you've seen this guy, the kato kalin guy with the tiger-beat haircut like the kids on the tim allen show i'm blanking on, which is delightful. that's fine, it's cool to have your hair cut by the same people as 17-year olds stacking boxes of toasters at best buy, it's just the fact he obviously is still gunning for the kato-look, it's just creepy if you can't offord a few eyelifts and getting the wrinkles ironed-out.

it's the fucking press-releases. a year ago, they claimed bittorrent was taking some obscene-majority of global-bandwidth. now it's all just fucking pureplay media releases.

now, when you're hyping a movie, it's always a great idea to write something like this because people really, really do think waterworld was great and since they spent so much money to dress people up like vampires they'll take the kids to it.

"Dark Angels 2: Bloodline is the most expensive adult movie sequel ever made."

if this doesn't spell crossover, nothing does. EVERYBODY goes to see the undead bite people with fangs and hiss at horror movies because they find it so sexy--just what you want inj a porno if you're rob longshot in for a long night of self-mutilation and angst over working in porn for 2 years and still never getting a paycheck from his employers. when rob black looks like a dream-carreer, i suggest exploring joining gwar or at least hanging out at tattoo parlors and impressing the young kids by telling them the occult is real.



back to kato-what the fuck does this guy actually do? he's the world's third-largest sender of unsolicited emails and we know for a fact he owns a 40x12-foot white banner and a red carpet. is porn that incompetent that they need him for his magical abilities to parlay 50 bucks of shit you can purchase at home depot and a sign store so they can go to a bar in burbank and have their picture taken on the free carpet samples this guy sewed together?

the britney rears thing speaks for itself, kato at least helped a pretty good running back and truly brilliant naked gun star kill a hot chick and someone who was the lone jew over 25 in the service industry.

and i'm saving the best part for last--his website doesn't really work.
the guy who spends 8 hours a day writing spam that makes nobody money while he still can't get over how funny "friends" was is supposed to be a publicist. an "all-media-player" if you will yet his fucking site is disgraceful---but funny. one of five pages that work is a link to how CHLOE JONES works for them and links to CHLOE JONES pics. he fucks corpses.

allmediaplay=your source for professional work after you die and jeff fucks you

holy shit, i just found this on luke's site--nothing screams competency like your car randomly exploding


"We were on the 14 freeway going about 70mph. We're not sure exactly what happened. It's like the back tires locked up. It was like somebody threw the car into [the gear] park. We went spinning and rolling (witnesses said two to four times). There was an insane amount of glass breaking and screeching and metal crunching and flipping. It just kept going. Just when I thought it was over, we started flipping again.

"We ended up upright on the freeway. I said to Bob, are you ok? He said, I'm ok.

"The doors wouldn't open. We climbed out the broken windows.

"The ambulance came. We weren't injured. I have a cut on my hand."

i'm sorry, this guy still annoys me.