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#128184 - 11/11/05 12:48 PM
Kami Andrews Is No MBA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
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This appears on her "website/blog" Quote:
I waited for months for a check and I got it and it's made out to my corporation. I take it to the bank and they say open a small business account I say ok what do you need? My letter of incorporation, I go home and get it and return to the bank. Ok you need you EIN. I go home, well fuck some how the $700 I paid for the fucking incorporation doesn't include an EIN.
I call the number on the front of my packet, my hold time is 6 minutes, but the phone disconnects every 5 minutes 30 seconds. This happens 3 times on the fourth time I get through. but I don't need the PA department of state corporation bureau, I need the state of pa. new number. I call same crap lots of holding and getting cut off then I need the IRS then I need the federal goverment. Finally 3 hours later I find out I just have to file a ss-4. I print out the directions (which meant unpacking enough boxes to find paper) and I file on line, at the end of my form it says error start over and erases everything. I call the file by phone number wow that was actual quick and painless with a hold time under 5 minutes!!! I get the fucking number and make trip 3 to Parkvale bank. I am told they have no proof that that really is my EIN number as I don't have a form with it from the IRS. Fine. I don't get any money from this fucking check anyway, I owe it to some one who owes me money. Don't try to make sense of that I gave up.
Somehow this all reminds me of Sharon Mitchell trying to cash a check at a bank by showing the teller a magazine layout she was carrying, but magically had no license or other id. How do you people do it?
The obvious lack of any business knoweldge aside, the commentary afterward is even more funny. One guy tries to stroke her up asking is she is an S-corp or LLC. She replies "S" even though her company is named KamiLand Productions, LLC. Then some banker degenerage invites her over to his bank. Hey chief, last time I checked, most banks (including the 2 largest in L.A.) will not do business with porn-related companies. I can see the guy walking her into the bank (in Pennsylvania, mind you) and say to the presumably-conservative bank president, "Hi. This is Kami Andrews. She's a big porn star in California. Treat her like royalty. Sure, porn companies bounce checks higher than Pike's Peak, but she's good for it. She'll do an anal scene just for you if she's ever OD."
[important aside to this..OD = overdrawn, not overdosed; otherwise Chasey Lain would be the Secretary of the Treasury]
You know how you'll earn their respect...know something about banks, about forming businesses. Hire some dirty CPA or lawyer to do all this stuff. Then you won't look like such a boob.
Do porn companies use accountants, lawyers (for more than courtroom work)? JKP was a publicly-owned company, they presumably would have to have an independent auditor hired, company with Sarbanes-Oxley filings, etc.
She's not the only one, by the way.
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#128186 - 11/11/05 03:12 PM
Re: Kami Andrews Is No MBA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
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#128187 - 11/11/05 04:01 PM
Re: Kami Andrews Is No MBA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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I hate banks. They're bullshit. Kind of like this thread. You can never know enough about their confusing ever shifting policies. Almost as bad as the DMV or the IRS.
_________________________
"I only insult those who deserve it." - Alfred E. Neuman
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#128189 - 11/11/05 04:21 PM
Re: Kami Andrews Is No MBA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
Smutty-one... listen to me. If you want to start a business, like it or not you had better figure the fuck out how banks and loans and corporations and trademarks and all of that shit works. If you don't, you better hire someone to do it for you. 
Smutmutants not about banks, man. Not as long as the grocery store will cash his check for a three dollar fee and give him cash back, and he can sell his porn dvds at the pawnshop for cash.
Not because the banks won't open an account for him, but because he doesn't want the man all up in his bidness trackin' his purchases and shit. It's all about principle, man.
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#128191 - 11/11/05 04:39 PM
Re: Kami Andrews Is No MBA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
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BTW, wasn't there a Mojo Nixon song called "I Hate Banks?" Mojo had some great fukkin' songs... Don Henley Must Die I Wanna Be Stuffin' Martha (Quinn's) Muffin Star-Spangled Mojo Gonna Put My Face on a Nuclear Bomb The Perry Mason of Love I'm Gonna Take Out the Trash...And I'm Never Coming Back! 
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#128192 - 11/11/05 04:43 PM
Re: Kami Andrews Is No MBA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
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Quote:
Fuck banks, the Coin Star is where it's at.
Silk Brah from Huntington Beach...yassss!
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#128194 - 11/11/05 05:10 PM
Re: Kami Andrews Is No MBA
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Quote:
Elvis Is Everywhere. 
Now wasn't that the one that Beavis & Butthead critiqued?
An aside: Don't these people blog in an attempt to display their depth and intellect? It would seem to me that blogging is far more likely to expose one's stupidity, rather than intelligence.
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#128197 - 11/12/05 01:20 PM
Re: Kami Andrews Is No MBA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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ah, you either have to grow up knowing cleaning your room was less important than knowing how to use money or you have to put in some time doing a shitty job that gives you an idea what goes on with the nuts and bolts, what's important and what's not, who the paperwork goes to and who can help. i don't think kami's had either and there's a real chance she doesn't know anybody she can bounce questions off and when 700 bucks is a big deal the kind of accounting and legal work you'd get is probably the same quality as you'd do yourself but potentially dishonest. take something elementary like a balance sheet, quarterly report, your macro-survey book's graphs and it's not intuitive if you haven't familiarized yourself with the basics first-hand-looking shit up in poorly-written books and websites for bad accountants is a pain in the ass. i'm pretty sure half of the hbs-rockstars working in my firm would want to ask a few questions to make sure they weren't missing some commonly-known trick, decode government writing, or see what steps could be ellided.
truth is, kami's doing what most of the chicks will never do-figure out how the world that doesn't work on dependancy works. it's pretty ugly and clumsy to watch, but that's what seperates the chicks that move on and the ones that end up some 43-year old tragedy on luke's archives who can't pay for their medicine or leave the guy who mashes their face up. good for her, it's better she do it now than later--the douchebag sir-gallahad CPA's are still flocking to help her because she's still naked on dvd and they probably are less helpful to the 49-year old hags paying them for work.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#128199 - 11/12/05 09:09 PM
Re: Kami Andrews Is No MBA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 5849
Loc: TX, USA
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Unless you regularly deposit seven figure checks a bank is about the most hostile company consumers deal with. It's hardly shocking Kami's bank was so useless.
On the other hand she should know better than to trust a bank would work right on the first try. I always test a new account/bank with both deposits and withdrawals first to make sure it's really going to work.
Kami's lucky - I would not have been surprised had the bank taken her deposit and not gotten snotty until she tried to withdraw or write a check.
Kami does hire professionals for some work; I believe she has an accountant handle her taxes (are butt plugs tax deductible, etc). She probably didn't realize a bank could be as bureaucratic and hostile as the IRS.
_________________________
"If they can't picture me with a knife, forcing them to strip in an alley, I don't want any part of it. It's humiliating." - windsock
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#128200 - 11/12/05 10:10 PM
Re: Kami Andrews Is No MBA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i like my banks, even the domestic one.
willie, since you sound like fellow scum--how awesome is the half-page in the journal's notices section where they list all the stuff the feds have confiscated? skeeter would have been in it as an SEC back in the day, probably csa too and we could see what kinda guns they took or whether he had cameras, etc. for the tots. but i'm lazy.
if you don't read it-start. yesterday's highlights included a meticulously-itemized listing of all of the lightbulbs and greenhouse equipment, someone got bagged with a few million in cash, they took the usual 4-5 computers and cameras from pedos, and the best is the 42 guns, none of them worth more than 200 bucks they took from who MUST have been the most-tweaked out guy ever in rural GA since it was a drug case. oh, and some guy from morgan living in a pretty nice place just got nailed for something where he had tons of cash and seized accounts, we'll be hearing about that soon enough.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#128201 - 11/12/05 11:06 PM
Re: Kami Andrews Is No MBA
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 9184
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I read the journal online for the morning Fed Funds intervention numbers from the FRBNY, but I will look for it. I'd like to see Henry Blodgett and Jack Grubman sodomized in a hellfiresex.com scene. Those assholes cost me a lot of money. That carrot-top wouldn't last 10 minutes in front of that perv Melissa Lauren. Jack would be crying out about the fantastic SG&A of WorldCom and Melissa would be whipping him with a riding crop. Henry would be forced to give Martha Stewart a rusty trombone.  Legend: Jack Grubman - caused the telecom sector meltdown. Banned for life from the securities industry. Henry Blodgett - caused the "internet bubble." Banned for life from the securities industry. Martha Stewart - Just wants to get back to her salad.
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