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Nate is a buyer at a local store here and I bet he hears some great stories from the clerks.



I worked as a clerk for about 6 years, and now 1 1/2 years as a buyer. If you're lucky as clerk you work for a place that doesn't have booths, like oh I dunno, Dreamers! Other places with those booths have to pipe in massive amounts of cherry and coconut and other scents to mask the smell of the booths. I have to say there's a lot of myth involving the "jizz mopper" stories. Luckily 95% of people have the decency to clean up after themselves and conduct themselves as adults, but there's the 5% that jizz on the floor, on the couch, piss in the trashcans (by far the most common infraction), leave the door open to cruise for action, etc. It's the 5% that really makes ya cringe. These booth stores are always targets of legal trouble because they income is so easily hidden and manipulated for tax purposes, plus those places are often times much seedier joints, no pun intended.

But man I've seen some weird customers, guys who won't touch the handle to open the door to the store, but will gladly handle the money you give them back in change. Guys who call the store asking if we carry underage porn or know where they can find it. The guys that think a penis pump makes their dick bigger overnight. The guys who think you suck because you don't have every title that that one girl was in, who retired in 1985, oh and all those titles on VHS. I had a guy ask me if I thought one of the ejaculating penis things would work for his piss-test he was taking for a job, after helping him pick one out, he tried to shoplift it. We had a guy bring back a dvd not too long ago stating that the use of "god damn" really offended him. Oh and the guy that stated we should do a better job of dubbing our VHS, as if we actually do that. I've seen a lot of wacky freaking customers, but what I've noticed is that if you run a decent, clean establishment with decent, clean employees, most the time you get decent, clean customers.
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