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#127754 - 11/08/05 05:52 PM True Porn Clerk Stories
Fiend Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
This may have been posted before...I don't know because I didn't look. If it was I apologize in advance but I thought some people might enjoy reading it.

http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4475
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#127755 - 11/09/05 12:51 PM Re: True Porn Clerk Stories
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
There is another guy or gal that has a blog like that too. Some of those stories are both funny and true.Didn't get a chance to read them all yet but the ones I did were good. Thanks for the link.
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#127756 - 11/09/05 01:28 PM Re: True Porn Clerk Stories
Fiend Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 3509
Loc: Pit of Despair
I've often thought about getting a part-time job at an adult gift store just to observe the customers, especially the really weird ones. I'm really amused by shit like that but the thing that always stopped me was the thought of possibly having to deal with other people's "fluids" in some capacity such as cleaning up the booths. I couldn't deal with the shit my friends would put me through if I was the jizz mopper.
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#127757 - 11/09/05 02:50 PM Re: True Porn Clerk Stories
degenerate Offline
Rob Black's Crack Pipe

Registered: 10/24/05
Posts: 56
Loc: lying in a port-a-potty lookin...
I read all the entries last night all hammered
VERY funny, thanks
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#127758 - 11/10/05 04:34 AM Re: True Porn Clerk Stories
JRV Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 5849
Loc: TX, USA
Nate is a buyer at a local store here and I bet he hears some great stories from the clerks.
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#127759 - 11/10/05 10:30 AM Re: True Porn Clerk Stories
smutspov Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
Quote:

I've often thought about getting a part-time job at an adult gift store just to observe the customers, especially the really weird ones. I'm really amused by shit like that but the thing that always stopped me was the thought of possibly having to deal with other people's "fluids" in some capacity such as cleaning up the booths. I couldn't deal with the shit my friends would put me through if I was the jizz mopper.




A jizz mopper is pretty much the bottom of the porn totem pole.
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#127760 - 11/10/05 03:48 PM Re: True Porn Clerk Stories
Cleetus VanDamme Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 04/19/04
Posts: 7888
Loc: Carpathian Mountains
What i want to know is where porn stores get that smell o' coconut scent that they spread around to cover up more offensive odors
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"Some say I'm lazy and others say that is just me. Some say I'm crazy, I guess I'll always be"

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#127761 - 11/10/05 07:01 PM Re: True Porn Clerk Stories
Nate Offline
Rob Black's Crack Pipe

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 145
Loc: Whoreville
Quote:

Nate is a buyer at a local store here and I bet he hears some great stories from the clerks.




I worked as a clerk for about 6 years, and now 1 1/2 years as a buyer. If you're lucky as clerk you work for a place that doesn't have booths, like oh I dunno, Dreamers! Other places with those booths have to pipe in massive amounts of cherry and coconut and other scents to mask the smell of the booths. I have to say there's a lot of myth involving the "jizz mopper" stories. Luckily 95% of people have the decency to clean up after themselves and conduct themselves as adults, but there's the 5% that jizz on the floor, on the couch, piss in the trashcans (by far the most common infraction), leave the door open to cruise for action, etc. It's the 5% that really makes ya cringe. These booth stores are always targets of legal trouble because they income is so easily hidden and manipulated for tax purposes, plus those places are often times much seedier joints, no pun intended.

But man I've seen some weird customers, guys who won't touch the handle to open the door to the store, but will gladly handle the money you give them back in change. Guys who call the store asking if we carry underage porn or know where they can find it. The guys that think a penis pump makes their dick bigger overnight. The guys who think you suck because you don't have every title that that one girl was in, who retired in 1985, oh and all those titles on VHS. I had a guy ask me if I thought one of the ejaculating penis things would work for his piss-test he was taking for a job, after helping him pick one out, he tried to shoplift it. We had a guy bring back a dvd not too long ago stating that the use of "god damn" really offended him. Oh and the guy that stated we should do a better job of dubbing our VHS, as if we actually do that. I've seen a lot of wacky freaking customers, but what I've noticed is that if you run a decent, clean establishment with decent, clean employees, most the time you get decent, clean customers.
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