I got a prescription from my Kaiser doctor and it turned out to be $10 a pill. Now I can raise half an erection on my own, and with half a pill, I can raise it to full-mast, but still, that's $5 a night, which is $5 more than I can afford. Please help me keep it hard in the new millenium. God bless you in all of your legitimate endeavors.

"damn. you were beautiful, man."

Luke, do you remember Jeff's erectile dysfunction ad?

I would try that except my morals do not permit me. Can't watch any of the Randall pornography either.

Sell off some of your air supply 8 tracks

You have Holly . You don't need Levitra.

I might be willing to send a 20-spot if you promise to say "This is for my nigga Random" while making sweet love to Holly.

OK, we got a deal Random. paypal lukeford@comcast.net

Duke, why not find a few pictures of the Australia II beating Dennis Conner for the 1983 America's Cup? I though that every Kiwi dick hard in an instant.

[Luke hauls on the main halyard] ..."Holly, I'm gonne show yeh what's it's like to bend yer main into a beam reach...ueahhhh."

Oh, what the fuck. Aussie/Zealander rugby is the home of the sports move known as the "shocker." Kiwi, Aussie, Bagongalong Dipsydouauie I don't give a rat's petard. It was a shot at the America's Cup. If ye've got half a brain to refute that..then engage that cranium. Else, we've had the fukkin' trophy for so long, I don't care if Kurt Waldheim stole it for his Nazi Museum...it's ours and we want it the fuck back.

Here's hoping you know the difference between a main cleet and a genny halyard, and I ain't referrin' to Padova's clitoris...though I believe I could said to Catalina with her hood.

benevolence is tolerable provided i get something out of it-i give to a couple of african charities, not only out of spite towards the sense of entitlement that infects many americans and a wish that as little of my money is redistributed to people who have opinions about how best to spend it because they got a 1080 on their sats and watch thought-provoking political news programs.

no, it's because they have lions, leopards, sharks that can live in fresh water, and at least 20 plagues that haven't been discovered lurking in a monkey being groomed for the assistant minister of finance in brazil. i enjoy walking around, marvelling at how all the snakes are dangerous and hippos kill people then shooting their large animals and coming home where the cheesy silver refrigerator my condo's previous owners decided only cost half of the per-capita income of malawi and wasn't worth taking with them. as a token of appreciation for keeping their continent full of terrifying and wonderous beasts, i'm quite generous with my support.



so luke, i won't ask you to house hyenas-you've got rob spallone. what i ask in return for my generosity is simply...entertainment.

i'd love to send you several hundred generic pills-the catch being not all of them will enhance your already estimable virility. over the course of one week, you'll blindfold yourself upon arising and take eight pills with the same kind of randomness found in those lottery ball things that tax fat poor women nightly. just stick your hand in-it's a grab back of the staggering pharmecutical advancements we benefited from in the last century.

i'll make sure nothing interacts fatally-the shrink who gives me adhd meds for over a decade and will write a script for anything out of some foolish sense of trust and the fact i haven't died yet. maybe not clean opiates which aren't an issue. you'll be in good hands, she teaches at the best medical school in the country so shitty ritalin or ativan--just short-acting benzos and dextroamphetamine salts and maybe desoxyn if i remember to return one of her books.
chances are you won't grab a handfull of speed alone and turn into the tasmanian-jew-convert-devil or the handful of downers that would interfere with your noble and ardous daily task---you'll just be really fucked up, probably have chosen a levitra and write even weirder things and that's worth it to me. i'll spring for a half-dozen bottles of levitra if you don't issue any corrections to your daily updates.

i give till it hurts, because i'm choking of food from laughing too hard at lukeisback.

deal?

That sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

The only good that can come from this relationship is more candid pics of Holly.

When she dumps him, I hope Luke will take revenge and post the nude pics on his board

There currently does not exist, and never will, a video of me engaging in any sex acts. I can't think of anything that would turn me off MORE than watching myself have sex. Ugh.