WHY I FIND CROSS-EYED WOMEN ESPECIALLY ATTRACTIVE -- This insight dribbled in over a long period of time. The insight began connecting after I had a deep visual infancy primal of my mother's young face and especially of her eyes viewing me with indifference. This was one of my most vivid visual early infancy primals.

The primal vision was different from others as it was composed of changing montages of her face. During the primal, I ``saw'' her face as it appeared during different periods of my infancy and childhood. During the last of the series of changes pictures, I took particular notice of my mother's eyes. Her eyes looked tired, but their most important characteristic was their appearance of indifference. During the primal I saw her eyes from different angles. The tiredness was usually there. The uncaring indifference was always present.

During the primal I remembered my early childhood phobia of people looking at me. The dread was so severe that I did not attend my grammar school graduation. In college I often dropped courses if the oral presentation of a report was required. Being the center of attention for more than a few moments would embarrass me and make me anxious.

Since primaling began, it has become necessary to make verbal presentations. The dreaded chore has become easier. I used to not look at the audience, but I do now and have found that no one out there was out to get me, so I am able to concentrate on the presentation which then becomes even easier.

The unconscious reason why cross-eyed women appealed to me was because they could not show me their indifference with their eyes and thus could not trigger that early hurt. I always felt that the most attractive movie star was Karen Black and her slight cross-eyes was an important part of her appeal.

Written by John A. Speyrer




Minka and her big tits