-Associated Press
ITHACA, New York-A recently completed study at the Cornell University School of Veterinary Medicine may shed interesting light on the Brazilian species. In a controlled, 5-year series of experiments, Brazilian men, women and children were exposed to human corpses similar to the bodies of homeless streetchildren common throughout their native land.
With a negligable margin of error, 95% or greater of subjects exhibited a Pavlovian response. What exactly this was, according to Dr.Maurice Lester is "A Pavlovian response, same as the dog-they'd start salivating like a fucking german shepard when the corpses were put in front of them and the majority of the male subjects seemed to experience some kind of sexual excitement but we couldn't tell if we were looking at a penis or simply another boil given the obesity most displayed. Brazilians are below animals,effective January 1 of next year the Academy of Vetrinary Sciences is no longer obligated to treat these filthy beasts".
The implications for the overburdened public health services in the United States are expected to be dramatically fewer hospital beds, given that 78% of all HIV-positive persons admitted last year were of Brazilian heritage. This latest announcement freeing vets from a duty to treat Brazilians struck by cars or displaying massive signs of infection consistent with a country lacking toilet paper and means to brush their teeth will allow pounds to keep cats, dogs, and parakeets from being euthanized an average of one year, compared to just 3 weeks at presstime.
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"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits