This is good stuff. The best part:

Quote:

"Nose to nose- I'm waiting for him to make a move. If he swings at me it would be beautiful. We're getting into each other's face. And everybody's watching now." Ten minutes later, the bouncers show up, according to Wankus.



Ten minutes?! Ten fuckin' minutes?! What was he doing, cutting sleeves off t-shirts and waxing Tyler's upper lip while he plotted how he was going to lay it on the guy?

Not surprising, Wankus is all bark, no bite. Not even a homosexual nibble. He should have just knelt down and fellated Talon right then and there. It probably would have been less humiliating and Talon would have enjoyed it.

I can just imagine Wayne sitting with friends at a rundown sports bar in Van Nuys while he reminisces over urine-soaked community peanuts and a Michelob Ultra about all the times he could have been a badass.

"I'm telling you, I didn't want to just stand by while my mom was assaulted in that El Polo Loco parking lot, but I was afraid the attacker would have sued me if I punched first."

As amusing as I find all this, a valuable opportunity was missed. Wankus could be in the hospital right now and we could all be enjoying a good laugh. Where's a drunk and pissed-off Dick Delaware when you need him?
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"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin