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What sequence of events caused you to be outside of your room without the chair or wallet?

Sounds like an interesting story.

Malice

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From what I have been able to piece together from the incident report, as well as 2 black jack dealers, a coctail waitress named Aloina (pronounced "eye-yoona"), Booker T the Casino Host, and forensic evidence strewn about my hotel room ....

I was enjoying another Sunday post-football losing drinking session and started playing blackjack at "BJ" Table 9 at the Mirage...a mid 30s Woman (I dont remember ANYTHING about her) supposedly sat with me and started playing, claiming she didn't know anything about the game

I "chivalrously" (thanks Luke) helped her as best I could, then somehow did one of my subtle conversation twists whereby I went from discussing betting strategies for Black Jack to asking the woman "So do you ever watch porn?" (Again, this is all second hand testimony from eyewitnesses, many of whom I tipped well so they could be sugarcoating it.)

She was at first offended and said "What do I look like, a hooker?" I apparently said "Yes." She promptly left the table, and then I wheeled over to the Baccarat Bar where many fine ladies on the verge of becoming 'un-fine' hang out to provide ejaculatory relief for a price to those who require such relief.

Now here's where it gets really tricky...when I am this drunk, I CANNOT get it up at all...not even if Hailey Young were lying prostrate on my bed with a handheld sign "I'm Yours." So who or what I paid for, it was purely a reflex action...Booker T only remembers the chick was blond, although he offered me the name of the security head to allow me to view a videotape.

Anyway in my hotel room, there were 2 cig butts with lipstick on them and some gum wrappers (I dont smoke, plus my room was non smoking, and I only chew Bubble gum.) When the 2 nazi guards and Booker Put me back in my room after finding me in the hallway, my wallet and w/chair were still there, but I was, as best I can figure, 700 bucks lighter (who ever the chick was she left me with money so she wasn't a complete scumbag...)

I didnt have sex cuz my clothes were still on and I didnt smell (of course the booze blotted out all other scents.)

There's a lesson in here somewhere, like some fucking brady bunch episode, but I am hard pressed to figure it out. Anyone with any information please PM me, or contact The Mirage Casino Host Office and ask for Booker T...I will be back home tomorrow.

Have a nice day.....