In his Gag Factory in sunny California, he and his trolls make toys for all us little boys by mercilessly degrading confused, stupid young women and preserving it on video forever. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he wants to throatfuck you and film it and distribute it through mail order. It's a beautiful thing.
You'll have to excuse the uncharacteristic sentimentality. I always get this way around the holidays.