Janine is 36 now, been in porn for about 12-13 years, and admittedly did some pretty vanilla shit for a long time. But the body is still pretty good. She's got the mid-30s MILF look going, and there's plenty of room for that in porn.

But I doubt she has much time left as a "glamorous, untouchable Vivid girl." The tats make her look like a Sturgis wannabe. There are plenty of reality MILF sites who could cater to that. Hell, she could do Screw My Husband Please, and I'll gladly show up with someone pretending to be my wife.

But she's got more ink than a newspaper convention, and that ain't gonna sell SKUs.

And I'm sorry if you resent people for seeing you as a two-faced ice-bitch who hid behind this veil of "ladies-only" integrity, only to abandon it when money was tight and you realized Carelton Sheets is a fraud.

C'mon, girl, say it with me, "I'm a porn whore; I do it for the money." How about a Blondage Reunion Tour. It worked for The Stones, The Who. Or how about The Surreal Life? You could sleep in Vince's old bed and pal around with Ponch, Webster, Joanie, and Flava Flav!


Janine: I really love black men now, Flav, what do you think?
Flava: I think you get me another Colt .45, woman!