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I'm back too Bishop. (LOL) I had a wonderful time the hospital and learnt important lessons:

Some things are so painful that Morphine doesn't make a dent. Sixty mg per hour for 96 hours just didn't cut it.

You can actually get so dehydrated that you don't bleed. But the nurses will still dig in your arms for two hours at three in the morning looking for a vein.

Having a cute nurse give you a sponge bath really is fun and an ugly nurse giving you one is hell when you can't run away.

The black nurses are smarter then the white ones. They understand that you feel like shit and leave you alone. The white ones just keep digging for a vein time after time.

Calling your surgeons office and asking them to call the above nurses and order the catheter removed right NOW really does work. They'll take your phone every time. The next day the doctor will actually have the nerve to ask why you wanted it out so bad?

Never watch Gen Padova in a 4way movie after they remove the stitches from your incisions. You will reopen them by laughing your ass off and a bunch of strange liquid and blood will come gushing out.

Nothing like seeing two pornwhores trying to outdo each other. One looks over at the other and gets jealous that she's louder and so she gets louder. This goes back and forth and back and forth till someone decides to up it a notch by pissing all over the place. Thank god it's not my couch.

I couldn't help but think what great irony. To survive incompetent nurses and doctors with god complexes, only to be done in by two competitive pornwhores who made me laugh.

Oh well, things could have been worse. I could have been a patient in New Orleans.

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This is, hands down, the funniest shit I have read in the last 72 hours......