....and properly directed venom!Yee-fuckin-haaawwww!La cage is back baby!Whew I was really scared that last time.The combination of misdirected venom,rank outsiders and fleeing oldtimers had an apocalyptic fall of the roman empire feel to it.Shit there was even a motherfucker who fell on his own sword(has anyone talked to cookie?if you know him stop by his place and make sure there is no strong odor)The only thing I can compare it to was probably the fourth day in New(George-they'll-be-okay-Bush)Orleans when they realized help was not coming and they were pretty fucking hungry by then and some shit jumped off that had police officers committing suicide.

Fortunately the foul waters have receeded and we're rebuilding,Kanye west is only a symptom of the problem.What a sad day for rap music,so long the voice of the unheard tormented black youth,edgy,unapologetic and underground that has bling-blinged,paper-gangstered,eaten its own youth and is no longer hungry that a want to be preppy bitch like kanye west could even be considered a rapper.I remember a time when this guy would have been sodomized onstage by REAL rappers.It was so controversial for him to state the obvious that his small mind couldn't even get around the fact that the president doesn't care about anyone who doesn't own one of the tobacco or oil companies that put him in office let alone just black people.Hell if he would have said there is no valid reason for anyone to pay $3 a gal for gasoline and that we could have been off of fossil fuels years ago the republicans would have had him assassinated by now.

I was unfortunate enough to be cast in one of Jeminis earliest(and first anal)scenes.Let me tell you that imbalance you perceive is very real,but not to worry she will flake on enough scenes that this time three months from now no-one will remember her.

Let me be the first to publicly announce my card carrying membership in the monkey fanclub.Infact I pay for two memberships so that at all functions there will be an empty seat next to me so I can move aside in case of an attempt on the monkey who is only behind Castro in failed coups.

Lastly in my continued effort to be the only black man on earth to financially support my own children(despite the best efforts of the lapd)I am proud to introduce my latest venture-a breakfast cereal that will give you what you need to get through the day Kracklin'Grains and Meth (tm)coming to a grocery (or pharmacy haven't worked out the legalities yet)near you soon

It's good to be home

Oh and whoever stole my car FUCK YOU you didn't stop me you only slowed me down for a minute,I'm still gonna get mine,and yours too BITCH

Its good to have you back, Holmes. Kids are allright? Sorry about your car, theives will burn in a lower level of hell.

...pssst, hey Bishop......

...ya need a mule to carry the meth to the cereal factory to mix in with the grape nuts? I got lots a hidden nooks, crannies and compartments on my new wheels...no shitstepping five-oh Jack Webb III ever searches or hassles a 'crip'...and if they do, I just start drooling, having a seizure and dialing the-dead-Johnnie-Cochrane's Law firm with the hand that mysteriously isn't shaking like the rest of my body..."Hello lawfirm, do you handle Police Brutality and harrassment cases against disadvantaged citizenry....?"



Welcome Back.....christ, welcome back.

Are things in the cage looking up? Can it return to it's former glory? Will Cousin Larry finally tire of Balki's shenanigans and kick him out of the apartment once and for all?

Only time will tell my friends. I for one am hopeful. Bishop's return, among the other greats, is a good sign that things are taking a turn for the better. Now Luke just needs to get his ass back to the states and start taking really awful pictures again and all might be right.

Good to see You back Bishop

I'm back too Bishop. (LOL) I had a wonderful time the hospital and learnt important lessons:

Some things are so painful that Morphine doesn't make a dent. Sixty mg per hour for 96 hours just didn't cut it.

You can actually get so dehydrated that you don't bleed. But the nurses will still dig in your arms for two hours at three in the morning looking for a vein.

Having a cute nurse give you a sponge bath really is fun and an ugly nurse giving you one is hell when you can't run away.

The black nurses are smarter then the white ones. They understand that you feel like shit and leave you alone. The white ones just keep digging for a vein time after time.

Calling your surgeons office and asking them to call the above nurses and order the catheter removed right NOW really does work. They'll take your phone every time. The next day the doctor will actually have the nerve to ask why you wanted it out so bad?

Never watch Gen Padova in a 4way movie after they remove the stitches from your incisions. You will reopen them by laughing your ass off and a bunch of strange liquid and blood will come gushing out.

Nothing like seeing two pornwhores trying to outdo each other. One looks over at the other and gets jealous that she's louder and so she gets louder. This goes back and forth and back and forth till someone decides to up it a notch by pissing all over the place. Thank god it's not my couch.

I couldn't help but think what great irony. To survive incompetent nurses and doctors with god complexes, only to be done in by two competitive pornwhores who made me laugh.

Oh well, things could have been worse. I could have been a patient in New Orleans.

Why did you want the catheter removed?

Wait till I tell what happened when the EMT's came to my house

Welcome back Bishop

Bush doesn't like you. I like em shaved myself

Okay, People here will torture the shit out of me but here it goes.

So here I am in my living room with puss and blood running from my incision through my shirt and through my favorite recliner. I mean it was a lot.

I figured that if I got up my intestines might just fall out because there just so much of the crap. So I call 911 with one hand while holding the incision with the other.

I told the operator that I'd had a gastric bypass. I got off the phone with them and called the doctors office while waiting.

Pretty soon the cops arrive with sirens and lights going.
The cops eyes go wide and he asks if I'm ok. I look at him and say "I've been better, How about you?"

He leaves the room speaks on his walkie talkie and then a fire truck arrives with lights and sirens going. They come running in with a defibrillator ready to roll. My eyes GO REALLY WIDE. I ask what is that for? They said it was in case my heart seized.

The EMT's are now here with an ambulance and they come running in with a defibrillator of their own. What the hell? I'm about ready to shit bricks now.

So I show the open incision too the EMT. He takes one look and then looks at me and asks where's the incision from the heart bypass. I look at him and say "What heart bypass? I had a GASTRIC BYPASS".

The doctors nurse is finally on the phone telling me what too do. Seems that this happens to 20 percent of the patients but they never warn you because they don't want to scare you.

By now my wonderful sense of humor is coming back to me since I'm assured that my bowels will not fall out when I stand up and I don't have to go back to the hospital. I tell the EMT that I don't need to go the hospital. He's filling out the paperwork and asks me the following questions:

EMT: What month is this?
ME: Quietly "Buddy, If you don't know what month it is, should you be an EMT?"
EMT: It's for the paperwork
ME: September
EMT: What Day of the week is it?
ME: Tuesday.
EMT: Who's the President?
ME: An asshole with two hot daughters. Why are you asking me these questions?
EMT: Too make sure your alert enough to sign a release.
ME: What would you do if I wasn't?
EMT: Make You go to the hospital.
ME: Over your dead body.
EMT: Don't you mean "over my Dead Body"?
ME: No, I mean Yours and I don't have insurance. (I've learned my lesson from the hospital. Never tell them you have insurance until your heading out the door.)
He's gone within three minutes.

SO the lessons here are:

Tell them you have no insurance and they will go away.

Doctors should tell you about shit that happens to 20 percent of their patients.

Never say the word bypass when talking to 911 unless you need some voltage.

Steam cleaning a recliner costs more then the floor.

OH and I NEVER EVER want to see GEN PADOVA's Four way movie ever again.

I hate to add to tantas growing monkey fan boy conspiracy (or love it, who knows anymore?) but seeing bishop post again makes me want to touch myself in all my soft places all at the same time.