Quote:

Monstar. Speak to me, brother.




well, ya know my man....some days I fell like Dack in empire strikes back. "Right now I feel I could take on the whole Empire myself."

...and some days I feel like dack a few minutes later when he got stepped on by an AT-AT.

I guess that is the reality of life. somedays are fuckin great and you are bullet proof, somedays it feels pointless.

and what I mean by that, and I'll come clean about something here....I totally did a solid for a girl, like went out of my way, watched her back, stuck out my neck to an extent.

I felt pretty good about it. I actually felt "justified" in my role as the Monstar. it felt like "ok, this is what the Monstar is about"

...a few weeks later, I asked her about being on Stormy's show, I wanted to bring on a cute chick, they wanted a cute chick, and I wanted this girl to promo herself, for what it was worth. regardless of who was watching or listening. what it came down to, I was asking for a solid.

and something that small, a half hour of her time, that's all, was too much to ask. and I could kinda live with it had I got a "no, sorry, I can't" "I gotta wash my hair" "I gotta take a nap" "I gotta do a line" or what the fuck ever...

I got nothing. a total blow off. no call or e-mail, nothing.

and for a minute I felt irrelevant. like "ok I'm not important for this ho' to even take the time to tell me to fuck off"

but then I go on the show. nervous as all hell, and still rawk the mic, in my own way, and it hits me. someone else, some fuckin harlot, is not going to make me or break me.

my only Achilles heel is my own lack of self confidence. and that comes from seeing so many other guys with websites & blogs...any retard can start one. so when I get lumped in with some of those cats, it kinda , I feel, deflates me, to being just another guy.

no matter how much more effort, creativity, fun, or whatever it is I bring to the table. which I do, not to suck my own dick.

so somedays, i feel like i am rawking and have my volume turned up to 11, somedays i don't
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