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I'll join the monkey fan club but only if I get one of those cool "Touch Her and Die" jackets that the metro Club Jenna security guys wear.

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Club Da Burglar Jackets are "way cooler"...

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Either way it doesn't affect me, other than the time it takes to have a good laugh and post a reply. Unlike some around here I have a life away from computer message boards.

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*Da Burglar Tangent* time: I have found that, at this juncture of my life, life away from my computer is redundant, boring and dangerous. Welcome to the latest frontier...Spending 5-6 hours a day at the 'puter is a good positive thing. Anything and everything you could need/want is right at your fingertips, without all the risk or dangers. Think about it....

Sex: An abundance of great porn, live webcam chicks, and if you are not married or entangled, you can order 'take out/delivery pussy' to your home from your keyboard. And if you are married or with g/f, I suggest frequently having sex at your computer, with Porn Blasting away on screen for added visual stimulation, or you can even turn on a webcam and broadcast your 'love making -- fluid exchange' to the world, maybe even charge for it if you are creative enough.

Food: You can order food online, have a mini-fridge next to your workstation so that need is taken care of too.

Beer/Booze: See 'mini-fridge' above. *Note* The computer offers infinitely more consistent entertainment value and intellectual challenge when you are drunk, more so than plopping down in front of the TV for a hit - or - miss football game or shitty TV show. It becomes increasingly challenging to drink to excess with out dousing your keyboard with beer/booze while posting on sites like this one.

Safety: You cant get killed by a Drunk Driver at your computer (unless you live nearly under a 710 or 105 freeway underpass)...you cant catch Herpes or Aids or the clap jerking off at your computer...just be sure to use a certified pussy supplier when you order out (see 'SEX' above.)

...When you do feel the need to go out away from the computer make it a worthwhile trip...I limit my excursions to Strip Clubs, select sporting events, and really important shit like pharmacy visits.