Do Not Hold Back Here. Mine was jerking off in the video store (as told in my long winded story).
What's yours?

One day when I was an adolescent I was pounding off and my cat was sitting on the edge of the bed. When I came the spunk went flying toward her and some landed on the back of her neck. Now, the back of the neck is just about the most difficult part for the cat to clean. But instead of cleaning the cat off, I left the cum on and it got crusty. The crusty shit was on there for weeks!! I really got a kick out of watching my family unknowingly run their fingers over my cum, because I hate them so much.

It's not partilcularly perverted, I guess. It's a funny story.

LOL
Lovely image. Poor pussy

I had a donkey lick my ass while I jerked off into a cupcake and ate it. Then I puked on my cock and forced my brother to suck it. Then I made him walk down the street with the jizz on his face while I whacked him on the ass with a spatula.

That's normal Sir Greenly. We're looking for the real crazy stuff here.....

I used to work in a Supermarket as a jnr Baker.

The nastiest thing I've done was jerk off into a round Doughnut, mix my cum with the jam filling, reseal the Doughnut, finish the Doughnut off in the fryer then put it out on display for the customer to buy.

Please tell me you didn't do that. Please.