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#119404 - 09/19/05 12:43 PM
Did Smelly Monkey Poach a Zebra on Safari?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Ok, it's been a while since I actually started a Thread, being content (since Gia showed up) to just sit and rub my perpetually perpendicular gonads rapidly in an effort to achieve ejaculatory fruition and then post retarded comments ending with  and  , so here's something I noticed that is worth investigating. We all know Smelly Monkey went on a African Safari, and we know that Genesis Skye Stiffed him out of 600 bucks not too long ago...well, the following pic seems to suggest our Magnificent Monkey smuggled out some contraband ZEBRA Skins he no doubt Poached on Lex Steele's ancestors Zebra Preserve in Zimbabwe, and Monkey is now marketing a line of authentic Zebra Socks for Porn chicks. In an effort to repay her Monkey Debt, Genesis Skye has voluntered to be the Spokesmodel. I love it when things work out for the best....I really REALLy do....  
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Are you gonna eat that?
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#119407 - 09/19/05 08:28 PM
Re: Did Smelly Monkey Poach a Zebra on Safari?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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She still hasn't paid me and don't believe that shes clean for a minute, i saw her have a little sniff sniff on friday.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#119408 - 09/19/05 08:30 PM
Re: Did Smelly Monkey Poach a Zebra on Safari?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
ohhh sweet genesis..how i would violate you for several days. 
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#119409 - 09/19/05 08:40 PM
Re: Did Smelly Monkey Poach a Zebra on Safari?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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#119411 - 09/19/05 10:37 PM
Re: Did Smelly Monkey Poach a Zebra on Safari?
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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monkey-wanna hear something funny about the lex? his real name is Clifton Todd Britt Jr.
no joke. the best part is how clear it is that his parents had great aspirations for young clifton to give him such a respectable, proper name instead of shabazz-ali-khalid or something likely to prove an impediment to a man's pursuit of the american dream.
what does young clifton do? steals a purple leather suit from tower of power's bass player and seeks his fortune fucking on film and fucking your mailbox up.
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"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#119418 - 09/20/05 04:40 AM
Re: look at the size of that zit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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the girl has a "reach fliptop-head" and a face assembled from random clown-cadavers and you're pointing out her nose? the chick is about another $50k away from actually becoming robocop for fuck's sake.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#119420 - 09/20/05 06:37 AM
Re: look at the size of that zit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
and there's nothing you can say to me that could possibly have any effect cause an insult from a grown man who got jill kelly tattooed on his wrist carries no weight.
meh, you're a non-entity anyway. besides the evil dead trilogy sucked. i have no idea why fuckers hold that crap dear to their heart.
"groovy"
riiiight.
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#119421 - 09/20/05 07:02 AM
Re: look at the size of that zit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
Me cousin Nacho and I used to have lot of fun when growing up. His father Taco was very close to my father, Chalupa Migueal Guilermo Diaz Hernandez Hernandez. So we very close. Fun times in summer. That's when we get wet. We would play exciting games. My favorite was TINKLE TARGET. It was most fun.
um. sure.
Quote:
and my gimmick isn't a gimmick, which may in fact make it a gimmick since having a gimmick, like, say, being a porn blogger who uses words like dood and rawks, apparently doesn't qualify as a gimmick.
it's nice to know you are well versed on my website. it's always good to meet a fan.
you keep reading, as i'm sure you will and I'll keep writing.
Rawk On, little fan dood! 
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#119424 - 09/20/05 12:48 PM
Re: look at the size of that zit
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 24
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Quote:
besides the evil dead trilogy sucked. i have no idea why fuckers hold that crap dear to their heart.
says the man with jill kelly tattooed on his wrist. it seems dignity isn't the only thing you lack. you can add taste to that list as well.
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#119425 - 09/20/05 12:55 PM
Re: look at the size of that zit
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 24
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Quote:
it's nice to know you are well versed on my website. it's always good to meet a fan.
you keep reading, as i'm sure you will and I'll keep writing.
Rawk On, little fan dood!
nice try redskin. i read this site genius. i have no reason on earth to read your site because i don't find press releases to be all that entertaining. or brown-nosing ugly whores for that matter either. keep it up though. i'm sure the six fans you've acquired and the 1200 dollars a month it brings in are well worth it.
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#119427 - 09/20/05 04:14 PM
Ash/Nacho's cousin hates Monstar
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
or brown-nosing ugly whores for that matter either.
hey dude that's fucked up. your mom is a very nice person.
Quote:
keep it up though. i'm sure the six fans you've acquired and the 1200 dollars a month it brings in are well worth it.
But maybe YOU ARE right....now i feel like shit...
I'll take that $1200 (in addition to my normal job) I get to re-write a PR misusing the word "rawx" that I spend about an hour or 2 a day on,
Call up a hot Porn Chick i'm brown-nosing that i saw on one of the free DVDs i get,
drink away my sorrow with her at some industry event
(of course i don't pay for my drinks or to get in, ...of course)
and then maybe fuck the pain away.
...damn. you told me!
Now i reeeally feel like an asshole
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#119430 - 09/20/05 08:59 PM
Re: Ash/Nacho's cousin hates Monstar
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 24
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Quote:
hey dude that's fucked up. your mom is a very nice person.
a mom joke, eh? how terribly bromidic. at least your consistent. i realize replying to me is taking time away from planning the jealousy-induced murder/suicide of stormy and moz, so sorry about that. stay up playboy.
burglar, it's 9:00 pm, shouldn't you be blowing money on fugly vidcamwhores right about now? or are you saving your money to purchase face-to-face time with your new favorite whore, gia jordan?
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#119431 - 09/20/05 09:23 PM
Re: Ash/Nacho's cousin hates Monstar
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
Quote:
hey dude that's fucked up. your mom is a very nice person.
a mom joke, eh? how terribly bromidic.
awww..you went for the weak spot of my retort. I was kinda hoping you'd have the balls to dance with the main part since you called me out to begin with.
i'll cue the bass line.
another one bites the dust.
butat least your burrito again. THAT i'll give you some credit for.
XOXOXO
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#119434 - 09/21/05 08:14 AM
Re: Ash/Nacho's cousin hates Monstar
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
burglar, it's 9:00 pm, shouldn't you be blowing money on fugly vidcamwhores right about now? or are you saving your money to purchase face-to-face time with your new favorite whore, gia jordan?
YESSSSS! Another Monkey cage-XPT thread detour/dimension shift, courtesy of TAN, "Trans-sexual Awareness Now"
9 pm? Dude/dudette, I can and do jerk off with webcamchicks at all hours of the day, although night time is preferable cuz less chance of getting interupted by missionary Mormons looking to sit on my lawn and drink lemonade and talk about how Jesus took a vacation in UTAH, and stuff like that. The art of creatively jerking off knows no temporal boundaries...
And if and when the opportunity ever presents itself for me to have some face to face time with Gia, I am sure we'll work something out, but I imagine in addition to cash she appreciates a sharp, sick, insightful intellect with an actual..."guy"... Plus, I am sure Gia would want some "dick to face time" as well...
...I hope Monstar, in full warpaint regalia, stealthily creeps into your nest and makes off with your wig collection, but not before scaring the shit out of you with a Glam Rock war cry that makes you shit through your blown out O-ring and soils your custom-made Depend Undergarments... 
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#119435 - 09/21/05 08:45 AM
Re: Ash/Nacho's cousin hates Monstar
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
...I hope Monstar, in full warpaint regalia, stealthily creeps into your nest and makes off with your wig collection, but not before scaring the shit out of you with a Glam Rock war cry that makes you shit through your blown out O-ring and soils your custom-made Depend Undergarments...
naw...i'm not going to scalp "killer".
Quote:
you choose to spend your free time with trash? or that attending an industry event for free with said trash is something to be proud of? or that fucking a porn whore is an admirable
damn you're angry, kid.
so what's your back story.
you're on a porn board but all riled up with a pornstars-are-"trash" attitude.
what...get shot down?
com'on give.
why so mad?
Here have a seat...
(monstar pulls out a chair)
why you hatin life?
pissed because some idiot in eyeliner that's "less than average looking" is scoring ?
that would probably make me angry too.
so I understand Your hate.
I understand your Anger.
It's OK.
I would then start a joke account, too. you gotta have something to do with your life, right? those empty nights filled with rage must get to you.
is that what happened with the ASH thing? you identified with the fictional character of a crappy b-movie? hey that's kool.
like i said i'm glad you went back to burrito. shows you know when to fold.
feelin better now? wanna hug?
I'll give you a call next party i go to, and you can come with.
just don't get all mad or start talking shit to get attention if people ignore you.
OK? OK!
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#119436 - 09/21/05 08:53 AM
Re: Ash/Nacho's cousin hates Monstar
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
Dood, forget about the playa hatas. Where's my peyote?
you don't wanna fuck with that stuff last time i did,us regulators, me, emilio estevez & sutherland were all sitting by a fire trying to find a way out of....oh shit. nevermind. that was young guns.
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#119437 - 09/21/05 10:16 AM
Re: Ash/Nacho's cousin hates Monstar
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Who's this Burrito faggot anyway?
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#119438 - 09/21/05 10:24 AM
Re: Ash/Nacho's cousin hates Monstar
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 10/29/03
Posts: 9489
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#119441 - 09/21/05 12:28 PM
Re: Ash/Nacho's cousin hates Monstar
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 205
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Quote:
damn you're angry, kid.
so what's your back story.
you're on a porn board but all riled up with a pornstars-are-"trash" attitude.
what...get shot down?
com'on give.
why so mad?
Was wondering same damn thing last night after reading this thread. Burrito's obviously clever. Seems like he could use his talents towards something greater than repetitively making fun of a bad tattoo. Burrito'll probably think I'm jumping his case, and I wasn't going to ask after his reading his posts last night, but it would be nice to know why he likes to start fights...
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#119443 - 09/21/05 12:47 PM
Re: look at the size of that zit
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 24
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#119444 - 09/21/05 12:50 PM
Re: Ash/Nacho's cousin hates Monstar
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i'm not sure what bromic acid does to bugs, but BORIC acid is the shit that kills bugs.
it's a fine white powder-speaking of which, does anyone know of anything really toxic that resembles this in color and consistency? i'm interested in getting some and selling a half ounce to fayner.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#119447 - 09/21/05 01:20 PM
Re: look at the size of that zit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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man, investment-bank tattoos are the worst. did you have to cover up the last part of morgan stanley dean witter and discover?
getting mine removed to read smith barney sucked, the fuckers need to stop merging and make up their minds.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#119448 - 09/21/05 01:24 PM
Re: look at the size of that zit
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
I wasn't trying to stop the fight. Just got tired of the tattoo jokes over and over. At least Burrito varied the joke in that last post, but it's still looking to me like Monstar won. There were plenty of insults in his psycho-analysts for Burrito to respond to. Burrito flat out pulled out.
You wonder who won? I say who cares it's the amount of blood spilled along the way that matters most. 
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#119449 - 09/21/05 04:43 PM
Re: look at the size of that zit
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Max Hardcore Prison Bitch
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 205
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Quote:
You wonder who won? I say who cares it's the amount of blood spilled along the way that matters most.
We'd have seen some real blood if that wuss Burrito hadn't kept copping out. You notice Monstar had to draw him back in after he tried to sneak out on the mom joke?
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#119450 - 09/21/05 05:34 PM
Re: look at the size of that zit
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Stormy's Lawyer
Registered: 05/17/05
Posts: 24
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Quote:
there were plenty of insults in his psycho-analysts for Burrito to respond to. Burrito flat out pulled out.
it's called work jagoff. you may think del taco is a job, and it may pay your bills, but i had real work to do.
now this exactly why this place is a boneyard. not just cause of people like you and tantas/crackwhores daddy who offer less than zero, but because thinking a psycho-analysis is even the least bit cool on a porn board, whether it's meant to be a mock or not. all of you homos must turn in your xpt cards immediately. all benefits will be lost. faggots.
and the jill kelly tattoo thing will never die. i'll post more of about this than simp/cumalloverher posts whacking bananas. now i know most of you guys have monstar's chocolate love stick in your mouth, but really think about this. let the sheer lunacy of tonto's actions wash over you. let it seep into your pours. let it infect your blood.
HE GOT A FUCKING TATTOO OF JILL KELLY ON HIS BODY IN CLEAR VIEW!!!!
months ago this pathetic action would be ripe for fodder. but now look at this place. just a sad state of affairs.
drive: go back and play in the sandbox with the other little girls.
burglar: you're better than this. step it up.
jamesn: my most embarrassing tattoo is actually the one on my back of a suit-clad alfred e. newman flashing the two-handed peace sign ala dick nixon.
have2cit: nice to see you still have a sack.
monstar: stop thinking your some kinda playa with mad chick-bedding skills. whores don't count. they just don't. fayner bangs them, nuff said. really, you look like a douchebag. your little drops of "me and ***** fucked" or something to that effect is gay. anybody can do it. watch: a few months back i was down in l.a. for work and got invited to a posh party in malibu where i hit off with *****. she was really excited cause she just won a golden globe. later we fucked like smelly spider monkeys.
see, gay huh? put up or shut up. and quit bitching about your broken heart. stop dating whores and all your problems will be no more. there, simple enough, no?
p.s. i just got a pm from a person who claims to be an insider who says he/she can tell me who monstar's banged. i haven't replied yet but i'll be sure to let everyone know.
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