LEGEND VIDEO SEEKS CONTRACT GIRLS

Attention all hot chicks! Have you dreamt of living a glamorous life free of real work and responsibility? Of course, you have! 9 to 5 jobs are for minorities and ugly people . Not you! God has blessed you with big tits, a tight pink pussyhole, and very little common sense and morality. You were born to fuck for money! And, Legend Video is ready to help you live your dream!

Legend Video is looking to sign attractive, bubbly, motivated young women with ample jugs and gaping buttholes to lucrative six-picture-a-year contracts. The contracts also include a profitable toy promotion deal, as well as in-store signing ventures.

“It’s a great time to have a vagina,” says Legend PR Guru Nelson X. “It’s like being the only kid on the block with a PSP. It makes you special.”

Legend contract girls will be expected to act in features, sign autographs, and show up to all scheduled engagements. Therefore, all applicants must know how to read, write, and tell time. This is non-negotiable.

Applicants must also be attractive. No fatties, oldies, or crack junkies . Chicks with odd looking faces need not apply. That look may work for Picasso and Wicked Pictures, but Legend prefers classic beauty features .

“We’re looking for girls who are pretty and professional,” says Legend Video owner Jack Richman, “The kind of girl you’d be proud to take home to mom. You know if your mom was a raging dyke.”

If you’re an attractive girl who would like to ejaculate strange men with your anal and vaginal openings for piles of cash, please contact Nelson X at 818-734-4200 or at nelsonx@legendvideo.net. Serious inquiries only.

Blowing Nelson X during interviews is encouraged & accepted, but does not guarantee employment or anything other than a possible visit to your local health clinic.

That press release has Tony Malice written all over it.

compare it to this one

Actually, I wrote that one too. Mr. Malice was kind enuff to post it for me. But, great eye, Zen!

Dude,

Nice piece of PR work.

Too bad it's been wasted here instead of being placed in the LA Times where it actually may pull some hot down-on-their-luck mainstream film wanna-bees that are tired of eating their friends 'doggy bags' and standing in mile long casting lines for a fuckin' non-speaking role at scale.

Monstar - I didn't know you were David Schwimmer.

Nice work in Six Days Seven Nights. I bet those love scenes with Jacqueline Obradors got your dick harder than steel!

Best press release ever!