1) He murders children and eats them whole.
Partially False, He can’t physically unhinge his jaw and devour them whole so he makes toddler jerky from their meat and then grinds the rest up to make sausages.
2) He likes transsexuals.
False, he’s absolutely obsessed with them.
3) He is a mulatto.
False, he’s just brown because of his love for tranny-scat porn.
4) He gave up the family business to run a video store.
False, he still works his dad’s old job as a Glory Hole Service Engineer.
5) He hates the USA.
False, he’s absolutely obsessed with us.
6) He had only been molested by his Father as a child.
False, His mom did it also. She used to put out her cigars out on his testicles.
7) He once posted a picture of his own cock.
False, That was his oversized hermaphrodite clit.
8) That he’s a small dick, glasses wearing, fat ass loser that needs to cut some of that loose skin off his dick, and needs to stop getting mad because he’s got dick cheese.
False, Samurra was just on crack.
9) He was sad over the death of friend Fabio Scorpion.
False, he was sad because he now knows no one to get him on to the sets of the tranny movies being filmed all over brazil.