Lucy Lee: while her face looks like it was smacked with a frying pan and she would only be safe to fuck after 24 hours of soaking in 10% bleach solution along with multiple rubbers, she is the kind of nasty do-it-all girl that would instantly give your mother a heart attack when brought over for thanksgiving dinner. Best scene was in “I Wanna Get Face Fucked” where she was required to wear a bag over her head.

Kelly Wells: Has the girl-next-door looks without any sexual inhibitions to speak of. She makes a $5 crack whore seem classy. With where her mouth has been, you would definitely not want this to be the one to kiss your kids goodnight before bedtime.. that is unless your name is AC Cream.

Katja Kassin: Has enough meat on her ass to make any self-respecting brotha want to tap it. Scientists are now using her in a case study to examine the various colonies of stds which have evolved to form an ecosystem inside her. Let’s hope that one of Garfield’s sickly loads will not destroy it before the scientists are finished with their work.