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#112768 - 07/19/05 04:04 PM
Back from Africa. DON'T GO EVER
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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Well cut the africa trip short, don't go ever. I thought there was a lot of angry negros here in the states , its nothing compared to over there, and ace ventura 2 lied to me, theres no mildly cute african women. Put it this way, Sammura would have a good chance representing africa in the miss universe competition. Got a few interesting PMs when i came back, the best was from a guy who owns the gym that garfield works out at, he said that garfield works out regularly there and does a lot of the free weights with some other regulars at the gym. He said about a month ago he was getting ready to close up early into the morning when he saw garfield doing sit ups with a naked 250 pound black guy sitting ontop of his penis as he continued to crunch forward. He was shocked and asked what the hell they were doing, get this, check out what garfield said. Barry (name of naked black guy) told him that in order to work out all muscles in the abdominal region and gain complete toneness you needed added weight around the crotch region while doing sit ups. He had tricked garfield into ass fucking him by telling him this, and garfield was none the wiser. I only just finished laughing after reading it a good 10 minutes ago, with that said its good to be home.
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“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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#112771 - 07/19/05 04:22 PM
Re: Back from Africa. DON'T GO EVER
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
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Oh yeah, good to know you'll be around Monkey.
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"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin
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#112772 - 07/19/05 04:24 PM
Re: Back from Africa. DON'T GO EVER
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 959
Loc: The Outer Labia of Jenna Haze
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Welcome back big man.
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jrv im going to fucking kill you and 3 of your family members-SM
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#112773 - 07/19/05 04:30 PM
Re: Back from Africa. DON'T GO EVER
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Already been, it sucked. Good to have you back.
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#112775 - 07/19/05 05:22 PM
Re: Back from Africa. DON'T GO EVER
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
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Quote:
Well cut the africa trip short, don't go ever. I thought there was a lot of angry negros here in the states , its nothing compared to over there, and ace ventura 2 lied to me, theres no mildly cute african women. Put it this way, Sammura would have a good chance representing africa in the miss universe competition. Got a few interesting PMs when i came back, the best was from a guy who owns the gym that garfield works out at, he said that garfield works out regularly there and does a lot of the free weights with some other regulars at the gym. He said about a month ago he was getting ready to close up early into the morning when he saw garfield doing sit ups with a naked 250 pound black guy sitting ontop of his penis as he continued to crunch forward. He was shocked and asked what the hell they were doing, get this, check out what garfield said. Barry (name of naked black guy) told him that in order to work out all muscles in the abdominal region and gain complete toneness you needed added weight around the crotch region while doing sit ups. He had tricked garfield into ass fucking him by telling him this, and garfield was none the wiser. I only just finished laughing after reading it a good 10 minutes ago, with that said its good to be home.
Where in Africa did you go? I've been to South Africa (which I know, is the white man's little section) a couple of times and I loved it there. I'm assuming you were further north?
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I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.
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#112776 - 07/19/05 05:26 PM
Re: Back from Africa. DON'T GO EVER
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
Where in Africa did you go? I've been to South Africa (which I know, is the white man's little section) a couple of times and I loved it there. I'm assuming you were further north?
Be careful Holly. Read the heading for the Monkey Cage. You are about to lose your innocence- you should at least be aware of that. 
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#112777 - 07/19/05 05:31 PM
Re: Back from Africa. DON'T GO EVER
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
Have2- you go all over the world. How about an update on which place you liked best and which one sucked the worst. I am always curious about these things because I fear places south of the equator due to cannibalism. 
I'll start a thread about it sometime. Best - toss up between Abu Dhabi and Malaysia. Worst - Saudi Arabia.
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#112778 - 07/19/05 05:46 PM
Re: Back from Africa. DON'T GO EVER
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Equatorial Guinea rocks, they have hot french chicks and belgian hookers addicted to heroin.
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Are you gonna eat that?
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#112779 - 07/19/05 08:13 PM
Re: Back from Africa. DON'T GO EVER
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i've been there twice to shoot at stuff in the seleous in tanzania. it's as fucking magical as it is totally tragic and savage. the people aren't dumb, they're just fucking savages-and in an osmotic way not a klan way, it's like death has an alarm-clock set at every three hours to remind you it's around. something's always bleeding, something else is attacking it, everything's huge, mean or poisonous and giant animals are always fighting each other. i really want to genetically-modify polar bears to tolerate heat and introduce them to the place so all of the badass animals are in one place to duke it out. land isn't safe because of the things the size of SUV's that don't like you. water-no way, here we have ac cream getting stuck eating a chickenpatty between two cheeseburgers and getting stuck in water slides and the sharks and alligators we've got serve mostly to keep the numbers of hippie surfers and everglade-hopping hispanics down but they're useful and civil. or fun to laugh at. africa's version of ac cream is just as stupid, smelly, covered in flies and constantly grazing with dull eyes, but hippos are fucking evil. of course they have to fight other scary animals and bite crocodiles in half, i'm glad the creamster was domesticated and spayed. then, to add insult to injury they've got bull sharks that swim up freshwater rivers. this is bullshit, you should not be eaten by a shark in a river. then you're not safe in your own house--there's always a filovirus, deadly snake biting your child, or gunmen to deal with,
everything is out to get you there, it's like a videogame, but a crude but difficult one. maybe ikari-warriors. you think these people had time to deal with philosophy and mathematics? hell no, it's amazing there are still people there, give them some credit for almost making it to the bronze-age.
i'd rather be hit with a fireplace poker repeatedly than be bored and deal with dumb laws that shouldn't apply to me. if there was a cop handing out parking tickets in africa, you could just shoot them and feed them to scary animals for being annoying then bribe your way out of it. something potentially terrible but exciting is always on the horizon and i'm 26 years old and i've never set a tire on fire for tribal reasons. i love the fucking place, i hate that smartt's been allowed to live and grow obese while it's flip a coin that a kid makes it to 2. i like seeing zebras fucked up, kids live at least until the age i decide they suck, and hate smartt. thus africa's really the only direction i give money to, save for chris o'connor's overpriced shoeshine booth.
if i was in africa, i'd throw a glass of bourbon on ac cream and ignite it to double-check if obese redheads running around screaming and trying to extinguish themselves is indeed funny. but i'm not.
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"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#112780 - 07/19/05 08:17 PM
Re: Back from Africa. DON'T GO EVER
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/28/04
Posts: 4450
Loc: The Planet Houston
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Quote:
Be careful Holly. Read the heading for the Monkey Cage. You are about to lose your innocence- you should at least be aware of that.
damn. she makes you fall in love with her with each post. 
Quote:
Where in Africa did you go? I've been to South Africa (which I know, is the white man's little section) a couple of times and I loved it there. I'm assuming you were further north?
next time you go back, i'm gunna slip the driver a 20 spot to take you to a darker region. you might like it better than the "white man's little section" 
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#112782 - 07/20/05 12:16 AM
Re: Back from Africa. DON'T GO EVER
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/04
Posts: 8662
Loc: In a k1ng like state of medioc...
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I was near Sierra leone so i managed to get some kick ass diamonds back, i smuggled them in my ass. if i ever go back im taking garfield and jrv with me to exploit maxium ass real estate.
I didn't really bring any diamonds back, but the place is very dodgy. No one trusts anyone else and they hate white people. I had to eat leaves and shit in the jungle because i thought they might poison me.
_________________________
“Jesus said, hey baby, its all good" Wayne Lewis
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